Checklist 2015

1) Tell a joke
There is no dearth of advice on why we should laugh more. To get that snowball rolling, learn how to tell a good joke. If you aren't a natural bone tickler, Google some material and try them on your close friends and family for starters. Slowly develop the guts to share it with your classmates/colleagues and bosses. Timely jokes and not snide or rude remarks are a good way to break ice in a new group, get out of tough situations and make new friends. On a serious note, laughing hysterically at your own joke is usually not a good thing.

2) Climb into a local train
Getting on a Mumbai local and standing — or sitting, if you're lucky enough to park your derrière — your ground inside is an art. Scoff all you want at the apparent demotion of 'art' here, but it's true. And if you can then slink your way through inch-wide gaps in the can of sardines (read compartment) without being elbowed in the sides, you're a pro.
The best pointer is to avoid peak-hour travel (8-10am and 6-8 pm). But if you can't, time your entry into the compartment well enough or be willing to push or be pushed inside (as you can tell, manners have no place here). Once in, stand at the side or between seating areas — never at the entryway, unless you're approaching your destination. You'll only get pushed from all directions and be the recipient of choice cusses in the process.
Reminder: your train-climbing skills will matter most once Mumbai's trains get automatic doors.

3) Grow a plant
The dewy sight of fresh, green plants can make anyone feel cheery. Whether you plonk a money plant in a bottle and place it on your window sill, decorate your desk with bonsai or aspire to plough a farm – growing and taming a plant can be very fulfilling. It teaches you patience and brings you closer to nature. To grow a plant, you will need access to clean soil, seeds and a pot. Fill the pot with mud, line it with the seeds and put a thin layer of soil on top of it. Immediately water it until the soil is gently moist, not heavily wet. Follow up by watering the plant every day, twice a day if it's too hot. Some research says that sending your plants positivity helps them grow faster and stay stronger.

4) Take criticism
Taking criticism gracefully is the hallmark of a successful person. The key is to not take it personally. Don't be defensive about it and take it as the opposite person's opinion and not something written in stone. Take from it what will make you better and forget about the rest.

5) Eat with chopsticks
Eating with chopsticks is not as tricky as it appears to be. Start by using a lightweight wooden pair so your muscles get accustomed to the alien movement. Place one of the sticks in the corner made by your thumb and index finger. Hold it in place with your thumb such that the stick cuts across your palm. Use your little and ring fingers for support. Take the second chopstick and place it absolutely parallel to the first one, using the top part of your thumb, the middle and the index fingers for support. Ensure that the first stick is absolutely stable and the second, upper one can be manoeuvred. Slightly turn your wrist such that the chopsticks are at an angle to the dish/container (avoid keeping the chopsticks parallel to the dish). Holding the first stick firm, move the second one to grip a portion of your food, lift away and plonk it in your mouth.

6) Write a letter
Once in a while, pick up a pen, preferably a fountain pen. Check for ink. Decide on the colour - blue, black or even red. Dump your laptop, your phone and your thumb. Your mind should keep pace with your hand (which is slower than keying in). Your thoughts will be clearer and slowly, the rusty writing will find its pace. Your fingers will dot the Is and cross the Ts and you will have restored faith in yourself that You Can Still Write. And then… you would have just joined the 'The Joy of Writing Club'.

7) Chop onions without crying
They stink and sting, yet what would food be without this humble bulb of the liliaceae family, whose cousin, the garlic, too enjoys quite the pride of place in any kitchen worth its salt? Dunking them in the freezer 15-20 minutes before chopping the onions will prevent the enzymes from releasing the fumes which sting the eyes. And please don't put many in the fridge unless you want the cheese, tofu and butter all reeking of onions.

8) Learn to negotiate
From your office manager to your house help, negotiation is an art that's applied in every walk of life. A few golden rules are - be gentle but firm, avoid talking in first person, use the word 'one' more often than 'you' and establish and explain to the opposite party that the purpose of the interaction is to create a win-win situation for both.

9) Overcome a craving
Think of that one big negative thing that is sure to happen if you indulge. Blow it up in your mind and shun the thought in the first 15 seconds. Allow yourself to cheat once in a while as a reward for resisting the temptation.

10) Do one difficult thing (a day/a week/a month)
Every guru will expound on the many advantages of delayed gratification. Of climbing that mountain and scaling that peak, however metaphoric that may be. Try it. Putting off that cupcake until after you've spring cleaned your wardrobe will make it taste better. Attempting that mathematical riddle won't get you an award, but you would have broken down those mental barriers while doing so. Never baked a cake? Try it once. Going on a trek? Give the 'hard trek' a chance. It's not about punishing yourself, but about knowing that you can do it.

11) Pay a compliment
Clinical psychologist and etiquette trainer Pria Warrick notes that a compliment is akin to a currency, which is why the giver 'pays' it to the receiver. "The important thing while paying a compliment is to look the person directly in the eye, keep it simple and be genuine. There is no room for back-handed compliments or for flattery," says Warrick. "The receiver too must look the giver in the eye and offer a polite thank you. There is no need to launch into a justification upon receiving one or reciprocating it with another compliment."

12) Drape a dhoti
From the sarong style in the south, which can conveniently go half-mast, to the elegant pleated drape of Bengal and the knee-length buttock and crotch gripper in heavy rainfall regions, there are over 80 styles of dhoti draping in the subcontinent. Here's an easy style:
Fold the dhoti accordion-style, pleating it lengthwise on one side and breadth-wise on the other. Fasten with safety pins so that folds stay in place. These can be removed later. Stand with the dhoti in both hands at the back so that the lengthwise pleats are on your right and the breadth-wise ones are to your left. Tie a tight double knot just below your navel with two ends of the fabric, keeping the middle fold exactly in the centre, at the back. Now bend, take the edge at the centre near the floor at the back and draw it front, pulling it under the knot near your navel. Tuck it securely.

Take the secured-with-safety-pins right end from between your legs behind, neatly arrange the folds and tuck it in firmly behind so the folds don't hang on the floor and allow for free movement. Now take the other end and tuck it in the front, adding pleats on the inside if needed so that no fabric is left hanging. The lowermost free tip of the tucked-in pleats should be picked up and pleated into smaller folds like before and tucked into the right side of your waist. This will keep it from coming in between while walking and also add elegance to the drape. Jump/squat to check if everything's secure.
Unless you're Salman Khan, skip the man-boob darshan and don a kurta. Preferably, one that ends above your knees so that the drape can be seen.

13) Travel light
A vacation is for seeing and experiencing new things, not to be 'seen' in a new setting. So ditch all the cosmetic add-ons and trade those Louboutins for loafers. All you need is fresh innerwear, a pair of extremely comfortable pants and a few T-shirts. Leave behind everything else. How else will you make space for all the memories and shopping that you'll want to bring back?

14) Make rotis
There's something highly reassuring about chewing a nicely round, soft, hot roti. Making one isn't rocket science, but is an art that takes a few attempts to master. The road to a good roti starts with kneading the dough right. Be careful with the amount of water in the quest for soft dough. Add a bit of cream (malai) to soften it instead. Pull out a small portion, mould it into a ball, flatten it slightly and start rolling it out. Apply pressure evenly throughout the surface and keep smattering both sides with dry flour. Until you learn to roll out a round roti, simply use a small plate to trace the shape on the flattened dough. Lightly roast both sides on a griddle before placing it directly on the flame till it pops up like a balloon. Ah, happiness!

15) Leave behind the mobile phone for a day
Just do it. Not accidentally but intentionally, with the purpose of enjoying the day without the incessant pings and beeps and ringtones.

16) Choose the right bra
Unsightly bra hooks peeking out from under sari blouses aren't the only entrants in the 'booby trap' category. Straps that ride high on the back, tight cups that cause the 'armpit boob' and 'quadraboob', bras that don't lift sagging breasts, and wrinkly cups are equally common. The ramifications of wearing an ill-fitting bra? Back pain, headaches, a stiff neck and even breathing problems, according to a 2012 study by the British Osteopathic Association.
Which is why women owe it to themselves to wear good bras. Get your size measured by an attendant in a lingerie shop (don't be shy). Also choose a fit as per the outermost, not innermost hooks, since bras stretch with extended use. The strap should be uniformly horizontal all the way around the body. Underwires should lie flat against the rib cage, not jut out or dig into the skin. Your breasts should not be bulging out over the tops or sides of the cups. Also wash lingerie by hand. Machine washing bras warps their original shape and fit.
And remember: as in the case of jeans, bra sizes vary from brand to brand.

17) Befriend a stray
People obsessed with purebred dogs, take note. The hard-as-nails Indian pariah, or any mongrel for that matter, is equally worthy of your fancy and being the antidote to a bad day. Spend just a few minutes with a street pooch and see what we mean. If you're still in doubt, take a leaf from kindly neighbourhood aunties who arm themselves with biscuit-laden polythene bags while on their walks. Chances are that they will tell you this: there's no love like a mutt's love.

18) Hydrate
You've probably read this innumerable times, but how often do you adhere to it? Your body is around 66 per cent water, so replenish it for all the fluids — sweat and urine — lost. Sufficient water consumption works wonders for your skin, maintains normal bowel function and energises your muscles. Not to mention that it also decreases the likelihood of eating when not hungry.

19) Sleep alone
It's a difficult thing to do in a city swarming with 18 million people. Rooms are shrinking, families growing, realty prices rocketing. Which means that the chances of being alone at night is an odd stacked against you. And yet, someday, when you're least prepared (when the maid has quit, your spouse is travelling, the kids are having a sleepover) you find yourself alone and facing the prospect of sleeping all by yourself. Nothing has prepared you for night sounds. Of the owl hooting, the dog howling, the window creaking; all of which conspires to give you a nightmare because you've always had someone living in your home before this. And yet, you must face the night. The best way to combat night fright is to just go ahead and do it. Keep a night lamp handy (for things that go bump in the night), a crowbar at hand (for burglar protection), an eye mask and possibly (with the doctor's prescription) a sleeping pill, all of which should see you safely wake up in the morning having survived the night. Alone.

20) Iron a shirt
Though ironing a shirt is deemed a simple task, few have the expertise to do it flawlessly. The first step is to lay out the crumpled shirt on the ironing board. Next, use your hands and then the iron to ease the innumerable wrinkles. Start from the collar, then proceed to the front and lastly, crease out the sleeves and cuffs. Then, turn the shirt and work on the back, proceeding from the top and repeating the entire procedure. This is how you simply iron a shirt!

21) Say 'No'
Here's the thing: saying 'no' doesn't make you a jerk. It simply means you're entitled to not do something you don't wish to do. The most common mistake people make is softening refusals with explanations such as "Let me think about it and I'll revert...". This only makes 'askers' want to try again to convince you till they get the yes they're looking for.
The key is to say no in a way that's polite, yet firm. Something along the lines of, "I have too much on my plate" or "Sorry, not today" is fine. And if people still don't get the hint, there's the simple and direct, "No, I can't".
Saying no to something that won't make you happy or help you address your needs is never a bad thing. Once you self-affirm that, you'll realise that you have a lot more time for yourself — and that's a great thing.

22) Make kickass soup
Beethoven said only the pure at heart can make a good soup. And we say that a good chowder can cure anything from heartbreak to flu. Ask any chef and they will tell you that the key to a good soup lies in its broth. Irrespective of the cuisine, a versatile stock is a combination of vegetable stalks (mushroom, broccoli, cabbage, celery), meat trimmings (for non-vegetarians), bay leaves, herb sprigs and peppercorn or star anise. Add these to cups of water and allow the stock to bubble for two hours or 45 minutes, if you are pressed for time. The resultant liquid should be strained and used to make the best of soups. Apart from getting the base right, consistency is another hitch. Knowing a few tricks to adjust the thickness can come in handy. You could, for instance, tear a few pieces of bread and soak them in hot soup before pureeing it all. Or add almond, cashew or pistachio powder to instantly thicken it.

23) Handle an animal bite
Lacerations and puncture wounds are the most common outcomes of dog and cat bites. Although major or severe bites must be tended to by a doctor immediately, minor ones can be treated at home before visiting a medical professional.
The first and most important step is to stop bleeding if it occurs by applying direct pressure. Clean the wound with warm water and a disinfectant soap. Apply antibiotic cream to the wound, but don't cover it with gauze or cloth, as doing so may encourage bacteria to fester. Pain and inflammation can be countered with painkillers such as Paracetamol.
Watch out for signs of an infection such as swollen lymph glands, flow of pus from the wound and fever. But regardless of whether an infection sets in or not, seek medical help from your healthcare provider.

24) Remove a stain
'Daag achche hai', but not when it's on your new shirt. Knowing how to get rid of the toughest of stains is empowering. Here are homely ways to battle common ones:
Turmeric: Remove excess turmeric from the garment with the help of a brush. Treat the stained area separately by soaking it in liquid detergent and washing it under the tap. Once it has been washed off, treat the stain by rubbing a lemon wedge on it. This will bleach out the colour. Wash it normally post that.
Coffee: Pour club soda liberally on the stain and blot using a tissue paper to lift the stain off. You can also soak your garment in vinegar for a few minutes. Follow this with a detergent wash.
Ball pen: One of the toughest stains to get rid of is a ballpoint pen stain. Dab the stain with ample yogurt and rub it vigorously. The acids in the curd will remove the stain effectively. You will also need a fabric scrubber for dark marks.
Blood: Removing blood stains from fabric requires no special skills, just lots of detergent and prolonged rubbing.
Grease: Wet your garment in cold water. Remove and use a scrubber to scrape off as much as grease as you can. Sprinkle cornstarch on the stain and allow it to sit for 30 minutes. Re-use the scrubber to remove cornstarch and wash it with regular detergent. You will have to do this three-four times before your shirt is good to wear again.

25) Throw away old clothes
Do you know what it means to have a closet full of clothes? It means that you have no room for new ones. And there is nothing worse than that. If you own something that you haven't worn for over three months, chances are you will never wear it again. Top priority should be faded blacks, that top that shrunk, tattered bags and yes, that dress you desperately hope will come back in fashion. De-cluttering is immensely therapeutic.

26) DIY picnic basket
To make your clambake at par with Jerome K Jerome's 'Three Men in a Boat', here is your checklist:
1) Fruits (pickable ones like seedless grapes, oranges, strawberries over ones that need to be chopped)
2) A loaf of bread with a jar of jam or chutney
3) Dry desserts like chocolate croissants, doughnuts, fruit tart, sponge cake
4) Beverages – water, juices and lemonade
5) Styrofoam cups, paper plates, plastic spoons, fork, a knife and wet tissues
6) A large mat and lots of trash bags
7) Frisbee, board games and magazines

27) Have a good cry
It's good to be a wuss and shed a few tears every now and then. Crying has immense therapeutic value and is an effective coping mechanism. While tears come easily to some, it isn't possible for most to get weepy. The idea, however, is not to shed tears for the heck of it, but rather to acknowledge the helplessness of a situation so you can let go and start picking up the pieces over an emotionally draining episode/situation.

28) Take backups
Not taking regular backups of files or documents, media and photographs is a mistake all too many make. But taking for granted the belief that your data is fail-safe can cost you dearly. All hardware has a shelf life, so data backups should be done at least once a month, if not more often. The process isn't as complicated as you'd think. All you need is an external hard drive (preferably with a capacity of 1TB or more) to copy and paste your files into. Even better is backing up your data to the cloud as well, just in case your hard drive crashes. That way, not all will be lost.

29) Public speaking
If the US National Institute of Mental Health is to believed, glossophobia — the fear of public speaking or stage fright — affects 5 per cent of the world's population aged between 5 and 50 (why this is considered a mental health issue is a befuddling matter, but we digress).
The greatest fear (and misconception) glossophobics have is that they're being constantly judged by the people they interact with. Consider this: no one's perfect — not even great orators like Winston Churchill and Martin Luther King, whose unedited speeches weren't devoid of errors. If and when you choose to face your fear head-on, you'll realise that the nightmarish run up to the speech or performance was all for nothing. And that the audience will react to blunders the way you do: if you play it cool, they will too.
Writing down a speech isn't recommended, since you'll only pressure yourself further to memorise everything. Jot everything down in bullet points, skim through it, take a deep breath and remember: people are there to hear what you have to say, not judge you for being who you are.

30) Buy fish
Like most things Indian, this too is about knowing someone. Try going to a fishmonger or market that you know. Fish is of course smelly, but it should smell of the sea, not a dank fishy odour that puts you off. Stench = stale fish. Check the gills for that fresh pinkness/redness. If it looks brown, discoloured and looks/feels slimy, then it is not fresh. Ensure the fish is staring you right back in the eye, clear-eyed. Glazy eyes means 'keep looking'. Press down gently - if your finger leaves an impression, you're better off looking for fish elsewhere. When buying fish that's already cut, make sure it is not discoloured and that the flesh is not flaky and separating from itself.

31) Burp a baby
Burping helps release any excess air that the baby has swallowed and makes her comfortable and more playful. Hold your baby against your chest, resting her chin on your shoulder. Gently rub the back to make her burp. In older babies with better head and neck control, you could hold her higher and gently press your shoulder into her belly even as you rub her back. This will help her burp faster.

32) Change a tyre
A flat on a desolate stretch can be quite a bummer. Manoeuvre the car to the side of the road to a preferably flat, firm place where you can work for a few minutes without being knocked down by another vehicle zipping by. Apply hand brakes and switch on emergency lights to indicate you're working. To be doubly sure, put a rock behind both, the front and back wheels to keep them from moving.
Now pull out the jack and the spare tyre. Place the former carefully in the notch in the metal frame near the tyre you're replacing. This is critical, otherwise you'll rip the plastic body. Once the jack is placed, ensure it's at right angles to the car and then start raising it till it supports the car but doesn't lift it off the ground. Now remove the wheel cover and use the wrench to remove tyre nuts. If you feel your hands aren't strong enough, stand on the wrench and push down. Always ensure that you are going anti-clockwise. Once loose, they can be turned and removed easily. Repeat for all and remove the tyre. Roll the spare one into position and start fixing the nuts securely with the wrench. Leave fully tightening for when the jack is removed. Sometimes if things aren't okay, you may have to remove the nuts again, so remember not to fully tighten them at the first go.
When the jack's removed, tighten nuts as tightly as possible, again standing on the wrench if needed. Replace the wheel cover and pack the jack and wrench into tool kit. Roll the removed tyre and put it into the car boot. Remember to get it fixed at the first opportunity. You are good to rock and roll. Give yourself a wink in the rear-view mirror and get going.

33) Learn how to swim
Swimming is not only a great way to keep fit, but also a life-saving skill. Apart from overcoming your fear, the most important step is learning how to float. Practice in shallow water and avoid flailing your limbs even though it's natural to panic initially. Remain composed and just let the water carry you.
Another thing that even amateur swimmers overlook is the ability to breathe right and exhale underwater. Once you've mastered that, you can move on to the crawl and advanced techniques like the breaststroke, butterfly stroke and dolphin stroke.

34) Administer CPR
If there's one skill you must learn, make it this. Being able to give cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) can be the difference between life and death. Experts at Save Life Foundation, a non-profit that trains police and RTO personnel in providing bystander care, offer three simple steps for administering CPR. If you see a person suddenly collapsing, do not panic or give water to the person. Feel his or her pulse by placing two fingers on the neck, below the jawbone. If you don't feel the pulse, call a doctor or an ambulance and then start giving CPR. Interlock your hands one over another. Place the heel of your palm at the end of the victim's breast bone, in line with the navel. Give 30 chest compressions in approximately 18 seconds. Next, tilt the victim's head and lift the chin to open his/her airway. Pinch the victim's nose, open the mouth and give two rescue breaths. Repeat the cycle of 30 chest compressions and two rescue breaths till the victim gains consciousness or until the doctor arrives.

35) Sew a button
A skill for all seasons and for all ages. Thread a needle and knot its ends together. Place the button exactly where you need it to be. Keeping the button side up, gently pierce the fabric from the reverse side so that the needle emerges from one of the four buttonholes. Pierce the needle through the opposite buttonhole, this time from the top, ensuring that the thread pins down the button in place. Repeat a few times. Do the same on the other two buttonholes. When done, make a few small stitches on the reverse side to tighten it all together.

36) Make a bed
A neatly-made bed, they say, is a reflection of one's attention to detail. No wonder then that a messy bed makes even the (otherwise) tidiest of bedrooms look like a dump.
Making a bed is more than just tossing a counterpane over your pillows and blanket or chaadar. You should start with a fitted sheet (a pre-sewn bottom sheet that fits snugly under the mattress), pulling it taut and tucking it in under the mattress. Then take the bed sheet and spread it evenly over the fitted sheet, ensuring that the 'overhangs' are even at all sides. Lift the mattress slightly and start by tucking in the corners of the bed sheet (known as 'hospital corners'), wrapping them under and smoothing the sheet as you go along tucking it all in under the mattress.
If you have a comforter or duvet, place it over the bed sheet and slip its overhangs under the sides of the mattress, just enough so that you don't have to struggle to slip under it when you tuck yourself in. Fluff up your pillows and place them on the bed before finally placing a counterpane over. Tuck the counterpane in only at the head of the bed, leaving just enough loose fabric beneath the pillows to tuck it in under them.
Voila. You now have a well-made bed.