Can dolls nurture empathy in boys?

There’s a growing awareness both in the segment of creating and marketing toys and among parents who are choosing to go with gender neutral toys. The idea is to strike a balance — and encourage kids to not only have fun and be creative during playtime but also eventually learn from these sessions. And like most things, starting early does gives you an edge as you are able to inculcate certain values and shape and mould a child’s personality.

A TOY STORY

Laurel Wider, a psychotherapist and mom founded Wonder Crew in response to what transpired after a conversation with her son. She was shocked when he came home from preschool one day and announced that ‘’boys aren’t supposed to cry.” Inspired by the way play influences child development, she created a range of toys to encourage kids to be themselves. That’s how Superhero Will was born. The 15-inch moulded dolls come in a range of characters and skin tones, are packaged with dress-up gear so that the child and doll can attempt playing superheroes, firefighters, astronauts, etc.

‘KIDS DON’T NURTURE THEIR ACTION FIGURES’

The Wonder Crew dolls, she said, are meant to be “like a peer, an equal, but also small enough, vulnerable enough, to where a child could also want to take care of him.” She added, “You don’t see kids nurturing their action figures.” Toys obviously have an impact on a child’s psyche and do help shape their thoughts and ideas. And this is clearly something that resonates with parents too. As in the case of TV personality Maria Goretti who believes that her kids Zeke and Zene have turned out to be animal lovers because of the toys that were a part of their growing up years.

‘A MIX OF TOYS IS ESSENTIAL’

Maria says, “When Zeke was small he did not have a conventional doll. His favourite doll was Diego who is Dora the explorer’s cousin and wants to save and protect animals and the environment. He is now 13, and has grown up to be a sensitive, caring teenager. I don’t know how much of a role Diego has played there, but when Zeke was growing up he always took Diego with him wherever he went. Even when he would go camping, Diego was always there in his bag. Zene, my daughter on the other hand, never reached out for dolls. She would get it for a birthday, and would play with them for a short span of time but dolls were never her thing. Consciously, I did try to buy intelligent toys like puzzles and board games like Monopoly, Scramble, etc, however it was me who would end up solving them. Another popular toyset was a doctor’s set, which both of them related to because of the number of doctor visits we had during those times. The only one thing I avoided getting them was toy guns. That was something they would get from friends and relatives on birthdays. There needs to be a balance between intelligent, creative and fun toys. After all they are going to grow out of it. We too had our share of fun toys like spy cars, headphone walkie talkies, playdough, etc.”

Maria says both Zeke and Zene have grown up to be sensitive, helpful and caring children. “Zene still has a zoo on her bed and she loves animals and so does Zeke, I am guessing these have impacted them in a small way for sure,” she says. Parents are clearly becoming more aware of the impact of playtime in shaping a kid’s personality. So, that’s given parents a chance to look at gender neutral toys that don’t discriminate on the basis of skin colour, encouraging body positive messages.

‘ADDRESSING BLUE/PINK DIVIDE’

Actor Mini Mathur admits she consciously chose not to gift her kids Barbie dolls. She shares, “I didn’t give my son a doll because he was obsessed with footballs since he was two but I did buy him an elaborate stand-up kitchen set. And my mother-in-law always insisted we got no Barbie but dolls of darker colours, so the kids don’t form body stereotypes. I hate this blue and pink bifurcation. I’ve never bought him tool sets and got my daughter only dolls. I’ve focused on educational fun toys rather than gender stereotypes. What I did was get a dog and that taught both of them how to take care of another living being. My son cooks. My daughter plays football as well.”

GENDER NEUTRAL V/S GENDER SPECIFIC

Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria believes that a child’s interactions with toys inculcates the ability to visualise, imagine and create. Gender neutral toys would be beneficial for a child as there seems to be lesser chances of any preconceived notions taking root. These toys could help the child to think beyond the limitations that our own perceptions might reflect on to the child. She adds, “I think boys playing with a doll or a girl with a car is normal as they understand the concept of play and not the relevance that we as society have attached with the toys. Toys that can be shared and played would enable a child to feel the need to involve others and work in a group, certain toys that can encourage independent thinking also are useful in developing all round personality.”

DON’T GUN FOR IT

Anjali cautions parents, “Toys that are physically hazardous or those with small parts that not every age group can access and also which are excessively stimulating to senses should be avoided. Violent games and pellet guns should also be avoided as they could be injurious to the child and others. The utility of the toy depends on how much the child enjoys it as well as the purpose it serves in terms of teaching a child something of value.”