In fact, I have noticed that thanks to my group all women tours, and the positive aftereffects, many husbands these days are gifting their wife these tour packages.
Archana Aggarwal: When I joined P&G, I got engaged too. It was an arranged set up and my in-laws were conservative. They never understood why I needed to travel abroad without my husband. It was strange because they were ok with my western dressing and drinking in front of them but travelling was something they were not comfortable with. At both ends, things were too new for me. I discussed this with my boss and thankfully, I was given the leeway to not travel for a year, except once or twice, by choice. I was happy with the support they had extended. They understood and respected my situation. In about a years’ time, I could convince my in-laws. Flexibility is required to be given to woman and I am glad some companies do understand that.
Malini Agarwala: After all, a woman is the mother of the man. And men need to respect that. And finally, whatever it is, she does end up being the point of first responsibility for the home front.
While women get futuristic, isn’t home the real frontier?
Archana Aggarwal: You don’t have to be subservient all the time.
Richa Singh: One needs to make some compromises. Post my pregnancy, I decided not to travel for some time. On their part, both my mother and my mother-in-law took turns to help me with my baby. My sacrifice: I didn’t travel leaving my kid alone with them and their sacrifice: they left their husbands and home to come help me. It works both ways.
Even today, my husband and I make constant adjustments to ensure the baby is always cared for by one parent. I always check my husband’s calendar and ensure I am not travelling on the dates that he is.
Madhuri Ruia: Thank God, it has become easier to communicate. It is the expansion of the mind.
Archana Aggarwal: Things are changing for sure. More and more men are volunteering to change.
Richa Singh: Now you can go up to your boss and be honest about your situation.
Malini Agarwala: There is more transparency now.
Veena Patil: I got married into a conservative family and was expected to wear a sari, mangalsutra and teeka all the time. I didn’t argue but after two years of sitting at home and doing nothing, I got bored. Then I asked my husband if I could work and he agreed instantly. I was wondering how did he agree so effortlessly and he said “I always knew this day would come, so I am not surprised. You are not someone who would sit and do nothing.”
Initially my in-laws were very apprehensive but then, I took them out to see what I do. They understood. In fact, when my father-in-law went abroad next, he brought saris for everyone and a long skirt for me. I smiled. And the communication I made by adding them into my way of life helped ease the understanding.
Women often fall under the superwoman syndrome trap. How do we walk the thin line?
Madhuri Ruia: While women are supreme multi-taskers and like to be independent, at times, it is also important to be dependant. And let others manage some aspects of your life.
Malini Agarwala: Prioritising is a must. You have to understand that you cannot do everything well. You have to compromise at some places.
Richa Singh: Look at what you want. Draw your lines. If you are late someday and you can’t cook…look at the other option — order in. there is no need to fuss or stress about it.
Malini Agarwala: One shouldn’t keep passing judgments.
Madhuri Ruia: I have recently become a single mother. Earlier I liked things to be prim and proper. Sometimes, priorities change and you can’t always expect things to turn out your way. Both my daughters understand and respect that.
Veena Patil: It is important that your children know what and why you are doing it. Young minds are exposed to different passing comments and it’s important they understand you. Once when someone told my son that your mother runs after money, he immediately snapped back and said “I know what she is doing and I am proud of it.”
Richa Singh: Even a baby can gauge when his mom is happy or sad. You cannot look for a pat on the back from everybody so just do your own thing.
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