Relationship Queries

My 14-year-old son is very careless. Everybody says boys are like that, but the fact that he is for getful, has a messy cupboard, has to be reminded about things regularly gets to me. How do I handle this?
Bhoomi P

Many parents bemoan the fact that their teens are irresponsible. They do not keep their room clean, they’re lackadaisical about homework and are disorganised. And these above complains are not only for boys but for girls too. Bhoomi, we have to understand that this age is a bit difficult, because our teens are trying to break away from parental control.

Sometimes they do things deliberately and there is no reason behind it. I hope your teen is not under any study or tuition pressure. Sometimes multitasking at this age creates forgetfulness. If we want our children to learn how to be responsible, we can nurture their development by giving them tasks that lie within their abilities.

They will approach these responsibilities with more enthusiasm if they see that we, too, enjoy our work. Assigning chores is a great way to teach individual responsibility and diligence. Instill a sense of pride by thanking or complimenting your teen when they have done a good job. Let them know the importance of what they do in relation to the family and doing their part to help out. You should also develop a system of consequences for failing to get chores completed.

The trick of talking to your teenager is not to control them, but to open lines of conversation that will instill a lifetime of ideals. Please take care of extra vitamins, which is needed at this age. Consult your paediatrician for the same.