How you can be an 'Agent of Positivity' with just a smile

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Here we are, in the brand new year of 2015. Let's start with the story of Lydia who is a senior leader at a multinational company. She was returning from Kolkata, on one of the dreaded early morning flights. This is what her Facebook post at 2 pm said: “Today I thought - In a simple small way, I would share some happiness around me. I smiled and wished every one I met a Merry Christmas. The reaction I got at the Kolkata airport from the staff was of surprise. Some didn't know how to respond. One security guard ran after me and thanked me saying, "Aap ko bhi Happy Christmas, sorry maine aap ko wish nahi kiya. Sab log subah bahut gusse mein hote hain aur hum ko koi wish nahi karta." (“Happy Christmas to you too, I am sorry I did not wish you back, because, in the morning, everyone is very grumpy and nobody wishes us”). 

It got me thinking. This small act would have made an impact on Lydia, the security guard and some 200 people who read, liked and commented on her post. It made everyone feel positive. Her friend Riddhi sums it all up in a comment, “A little smile, A word of cheer, A bit of love from someone near”. Lydia through that gesture became an Agent of Positivity. 
You too can be an Agent of Positivity. So in 2015, decide to become positive by spreading positivity into your sphere of influence. The easiest way of becoming positive is by making other people positive.

The easiest and the most potent of the tools we have at our disposal is our smile. The moment you wake up, smile at yourself in the mirror (looking good, bro). Smile at your partner and your kids. Smile at people you normally do not smile at. Smile at the bus driver, make a meaningful eye contact and wish him a Happy New Year. Smile at the security guard as you glide into work. Smile and shake hands with your colleagues. Smile at your boss, however tough that may be.

If you are sending an email or SMS, end it with genuinely felt smileys. If you are answering phone calls, answer them with a smile. If you work in the frontline, ofcourse you must smile at your customers. Smile at strangers and friends with the same genuineness. 

How did that make you feel? How do you think the people who received your genuine smiles felt? You made their day. From the few hundred people, who ignore them, you would have stood out. You would be the silver lining on this cold winter morning. Absolutely, that feels really good.  

Why smile? 

Lee Anne Harker and Dacher Keltner at the University of California, Berkeley; have made a living of studying the impact of smiles or what they call positive facial expressions. They found that women who flashed a Duchenne (genuine) smile in their yearbook, tended to be happier even years later. They were contacted when they were 27, 43 and 52 and questioned with life and marriage satisfaction. Their smiles predicted their marital satisfaction, upto 30 years later.

What is a genuine or Duchenne smile? 

First a bit of history.Guillaume Duchenne was a French neurologist who studied neurology and expressions. Charles Darwin (1872), asked missionaries around the world to send him reports on emotions. He did this to support his theory on the Origin of Species. He studied emotions and expressions in animals and humans. His theory was based on the work of Duchenne. Charles Darwin, wrote in his book, The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, that our emotions were universal to humankind. In the last decades, Paul Ekman, a renowned psychologist has proven that emotions, including smiles are a cross-cultural, universal phenomenon. Ofcourse, you may not be aware of an ancient Indian text, called Natyashastra, which listed eight distinct emotions, way back in the 2nd century AD. 

So what is a duchenne smile? Duchenne made a distinction between a genuine smile and a fake smile. A genuine smile involves the zygomatic major muscle, which raises the corners of the mouth, and more importantly the orbicularis oculi muscle, which raises the cheeks and forms crow's feet around the eyes. The fake smile is one where you see only the corners of the mouth smiling. The eyes are unsmiling or plastic. 

When you see someone smiling, you should look for the crow’s feet. If there are crow’s feet, at the corners of the eyes, then the person is genuinely smiling at you. It is the smile spotted on a granddaughter's face when she is re-united with her grandpa. The same smile when you finish a gruelling workout, or meet an impossible deadline. Else, it is the plastic smile. The same smile that you might find in wedding receptions albums, when the bride and groom have smiled for the 463rd time for the camera, for relatives they have never seen. So what do you do when you see a plastic smile? The answer is simple. Return it with a Duchenne smile. 

Why? Because a smile makes you look better.  

Research indicates that when you see a genuine smile, you interpret the person to be someone who is happy, content, trustworthy, welcoming, and most interestingly, competent and intelligent. Think about it. When you enter a restaurant and the manager smiles at you nervously, or is grumpy, what is the evaluation that you give to the person? 

There is bad news for divorce lawyers here. John Gottman, who studies marital flourishing, proved that positive expressions; such as smiling, during conflicts and tough arguments, reduces the chances of divorce. 

For all you lonely heart club members, if you are looking for a romantic relationship, Berry & Willingham have proven that positive expressions increases your chances by making you seem more attractive and sociable. 

Coming back to the photograph studies of Harker and Keltner. The women who expressed more positive emotions, or smiled more, became more organised, mentally focused, and achievement oriented. More interestingly, right into adulthood, the women who smiled more, reported being more mentally and physically fit than their non-smiling peers. It is fascinating. Just a photograph could predict these outcomes.     

How does the smile work on you? 

When you see someone genuinely smile, your body releases dopamine, endorphins and serotonin, all the happy chemicals. Yes, the same chemical that gives you pleasure from chocolate, coffee, cocaine or chocolate. 

When you smile, the body releases neuropeptides, which battle all the stress-related cortisol, that has flooded your system, lowering your heart rate, soothing your body and reducing blood pressure. 

The endorphins are also known as a natural pain reliever, yes indeed, morphine and opium does exactly that. 

The serotonin acts as an anti-depressant. All these psychotropic substances are at your disposal. Start using them. Smile. 

Then comes the often asked question. Interestingly, even when you “fake” a full smile (crows feet), the brain receives a signal from the muscles and starts flooding your system with endorphins, making you happy. I tried this myself, and it worked for me. I actually began to feel better myself. The habit takes time, but then you develop a great smile and learn to be genuine. 

How does a smile work for others? 

Our brains and bodies are wired for making social connections. We survived the sabre tooth tigers, diseases and famines because of our ability to connect with one another, at an emotional and social level. That is why we crave social contact. 

Our brains control 100 billion tiny cells called neurons, which transmit signals (100 trillions of them) from the brain to the body. We also have something called mirror neurons, which mirrors what the brain is seeing. For example, when a fake Aamir Khan runs amok in a movie, we in the audience, feel his happiness, and his sadness too. Our brain is mirroring what we see on the silver screen. Even when it is completely fake. When Richard Gere, in the final scene of Pretty Woman, climbs up the fire escape to propose to a rather impoverished Julia Roberts, our brain witnesses how love transcends all social classes, though in reality Ms Roberts and Mr Gere both are multi-millionaires. Our brain responds to what it sees in front of it. 

It’s the same case with smiling. When we are happy and content and our brain floods our body with the happy chemicals, the mirror neurons in the person seeing your smile, reflects the smile back, flooding their body with the same happy chemicals. 

When someone smiles at you, it triggers the region in your brain which stores all the sensory rewards. When someone smiles at you, and you don’t want to smile back, it takes a LOT of EFFORT to not smile back. Your brain automatically returns the smiles. 

It is amazing; when your girl friend calls you, within the first three words being uttered, you know exactly if she is going to be mad at you or not. David Havas from the University of Wisconsin found out that smiling reduces the probability of the other person getting angry at you. If she is smiling at you on the phone, the smile travels down the phone lines, the same neural network is at play. My theory is that you can hear someone smile. I hope I am right. 

How does it impact work and business? 

1) Let's take the case of Ritz Carlton. In their Gold Standards statement, they talk about the 6th Diamond, which is about Employee and Customer engagement. Within this, they have the famous “Three Steps of Service”, where the very first step is, and I quote, “A warm and sincere greeting. Use the guest’s name”. The Ladies and Gentlemen at Ritz Carlton (as the employees are called) are trained to make genuine eye contact and smile at customers. The very first statement of their Top 12 Service Values is, “I build strong relationships”. The fact that Ritz Carlton puts both the steps as the starting point, speaks volumes of the correlation. 

2) When positive leaders enter a meeting room, they are capable of lighting up the entire room with their smiles, and their meeting will have a better outcome. Look at Dalai Lama, Barrack Obama, Nelson Mandela, Bill Clinton - every one of them have dazzling smiles. 

3) When a colleague is having a tough time, a warm assuring smile will work wonders. 

4) Sales strategists will tell you that people who are seen as trustworthy, close more sales because they are seen as more credible. Remember the research on the impact of smiles.  

5) A research in Taiwan demonstrated that the use of humour and laughter, determines the effectiveness in a R&D laboratory. 

6) Smiling employees are an indicator of the health of a business unit. The energy in the business unit is palpable. 

I have a feeling that people are remembered by their smiles. You remember the smile more than the person.

I sign off with exactly the same lines that Harker and Kelter ended their paper, way back in 2001, well before the era of selfies. “People photograph each other with casual ease, and remarkable frequency, usually unaware that each snapshot, may capture as much about the future as it does the passing emotions of the moment”. 

Your smiles are the memories that people carry with them. Make them sweet. Smile and watch the world reboot itself into a new cool operating system. You hold the key, because you are the Agent of Positivity.