2010: All izz hell!

I’m not an astrologer but I am pretty sure Shashi Tharoor will tweet his way into trouble in 2010. And the aggrieved party won’t be Sonia Gandhi or S M Krishna.

It’ll be Mrs Tharoor! All izz hell on a day when Tharoor, for whom tweeting has become second nature, will accidentally tweet a nasty remark about what his wife served him for lunch! While his five lakh followers will make a meal of his tweet, Tharoor himself might go without dinner that night!

While 2010 will also see more people on Twitter than the combined population of the entire African continent, several inconsequential nitwits will realise that having thousands of followers will do nothing to improve their lives at home or work in the real world except make them feel important in a virtual world where you receive smileys and LOLs for your 140-word comments that expose your ignorance more than your opinions!

The year will also see banks scrapping home loans and instead offering loans to buy vegetables. So you could end up paying EMIs for the undhio or drumstick sambar you had for lunch on an indulgent Sunday! But it might make you feel better to log onto Facebook every night and grow your own vegetables on Farmville!

In fact, for a country where most people seem untouched by reality, the virtual world of the internet just might be the place to find India Shining!  Because, in the real world of 2010, we’ll be shutting down states to create new states, debating the importance of Hindi, Marathi, Tamil or English and watching Kasab spend another year perfecting his acting skills in our courts at our cost.

But there will be some interesting occurrences in the world of showbiz. Vindoo will realise that Bigg Boss was as big as he could get and now he’ll have to find a regular job! But Vidhu Vinod Chopra will be offered as much money as the first day box office collections of 3 Idiots to participate in the next season of Bigg Boss and MTV Roadies after his high-decibel “shut up” to journalists on Day One of the New Year!

But the real rush in Bollywood won’t be to remake Avatar or The Hangover. It’ll be to release a film in the third week of December! Because, it’s just been discovered that after a three-year monopoly, Aamir Khan may finally not have a release this Christmas!