Column

We all go through those quiet 'thinking' moments. A time when random thoughts cross our mind about this and that. I'm sharing some excerpts from some thoughts I jotted a few days ago.

Let's say you've been dating that special someone for a couple of months. One day you have a romantic, even passionate moment. You feel close, he gets you and then it happens that you say that simple phrase that can make or break any relationship. You blurt out, "I love you." And then he is silent; what a horrid and awkward moment! Now suddenly it all seems weird and uncomfortable. What have you done, you start thinking?

Actually, you've done nothing that millions of men and women who have been swept up in the rush of deep feeling and longing for that special someone haven't done before. Unfortunately, when one person says "I love you" and it is too soon for the other, both can retreat from the relationship altogether.

The power of the ‘L’ word is intense. It can bring such joy when two people are comfortable and ready to mean it. But it can sour a relationship, if one says it or if no one says it. Ever! And what does love mean anyway? Sometimes the definition is murky.

When you say "I love you," you may mean that you feel close to your boyfriend, he seems right for you, and you want a future together. But he may see saying "I love you," as meaning that you have to get married. And if he's just feeling lust not love for you, it's the wrong word to use with him.

Even more problematic here is the person who is so uncomfortable professing his or her love that he or she is actually terrified to say the ‘L’ word. Someone who can't say "I love you" may have a problem with commitment. He may see love as the shackle around his ankle and just won't go there. On the other hand, some people use the "I love you" expression to reel in a mate who really isn't ready yet, trying to guilt them into staying put.
The point is to try to wait to say "I love you" until you feel pretty certain you and your partner are on the same love level.

And if you've said the word too soon, it's OK to say, "Oops, I blurted that out in a wrong moment, I'm not really sure I'm ready either." That will take some of the pressure off of your partner to reciprocate his feelings at that moment.

To sum up, once you're ready to say those three words, say them loud and
after all, everyone wants to know, feel and hear they are loved, don’t they?