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Share"It's early," agreed Jagland. "But we decided to give you the award before it's too late! The rate at which you're pumping billions of dollars into Pakistan, which is being used against your own troops and India, we're already running out of time."
Obama asked, "Who else was in the running for this award?"
"Paris Hilton," replied Jagland. "The Nobel Committee has a very serious image. We wanted to show the world that we've a sense of humour. It was a tough choice for the Nobel Committee. But she finally lost by a vote!"
"Why not Bill Clinton?" Obama wondered aloud. "He's actually done a lot more for world peace than me!"
"But he didn't find much peace at home," said Jagland and laughed. "Just don't ask Hilary for details!"
Obama thanked Jagland and promised that he would do more to promote his idea of "world piece" by diverting the prize money of $1.4 million to arm a country which perpetrators of 9/11 and 26/11 call home. Jagland thought he'd misheard. "You meant world peace, right?" he asked and waited for a confirmation. "Hello? Mr President? Are you there?"
The first person to congratulate Obama was French President Nicolas Sarkozy. "Could I borrow your Noble Prize for one night?" Sarkozy asked. "You know my wife, the beautiful Carla Bruni -- she's threatened not to serve me dinner unless I get a Nobel Prize. Now, how do I explain to her that the only Nobel Prize I can get is for chemistry -- I mean, my chemistry with her!"
But amidst all the congratulatory messages, there was one voice of dissent -- it was a long tweet from apna Shashi Tharoor: "Nobel Prize? For what? Attacking the moon to grab all its water? Don't forget that it's we Indians who discovered water on the moon! Didn't you notice our red plastic bucket on the surface of the moon? So get in line!"
