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For most people NRI stands for Non-Resident Indians. As I prefer to call it, it is more of Not Required Indians. In wines NRI then has a similar meaning: it stands for Not Required Information. Here are a few things you don’t need to know to simply enjoy a wine.

1. Origin: Where a wine is made is as useful as asking someone where he was born when he turns up for a job interview 4000 miles away. It is rude to question a person’s origin when giving him a job and it is rude to ask a wine its whereabouts when all it wants to do is liven up your party.

2. Viticulture/Vinification: When you go buying coffee you ask for Cappuccino or Macchiato or Espresso, you don’t ask for a bean blend ratio. In the same way, drink wine for the style it is made in, stop asking questions about grapes. You don’t question a chef on the ingredients so why put a steward through this?

3. Competition, Medals and Points: Sure it’s good to know who ran the fastest 100m but wine is no race. Just like you shouldn’t rate your girlfriends openly, you shouldn’t rate wines. (Fine, do it secretly but always consider the present girl the best!)

No matter how popular a wine critic, there is little chance you will like what he likes; no guarantee you will both have similar tastes. I wish to never have similar tastes as anybody in the wine industry — have you seen how tackily they all dress!!?

Here are also some things that are most crucial to wine enjoyment:

1. Price: If you weren’t happy shelling out for it, chances you have already marred your enjoyment somewhere. Always start in the zone where your wallet won’t have a seizure at the very idea of paying. All over the world, the best wine is the one that costs the least possible. The next best wine is the wine which you can afford when this one runs out.

2. Drinking Window: Just like every relationship doesn’t lead to marriage, every wine is not meant to be aged. A clear majority of girls and wines are best enjoyed on the short term. How do you know which ones are worth the wait? With wines, you need to consult the philosophy of the person who made it: what was his intention? Did he want to make a wine for quick consumption or was it meant for long-term cellaring. With girls, nobody knows, not even God.

3. Label Aesthetics: If you like the label, buy it. This is how I reason: if a chap was smart and gifted enough to choose a good attractive label, then there is a permissible probability that the stuff inside too has been through equal research and thought. Sure you could be wrong but at least then you can stare at the pretty label.

4. Ambience: You know why they don’t serve wines at a funeral; because the setting isn’t exactly inspiring. In fact, beer goes around way better but let’s not get started on that. When sitting on a terrace overlooking something that only nature can conjure, and holding hands of the only person who matters in your life, wine is but a minute space filler.

It only enhances the experience, it doesn’t replace or override it. In such cases, people are a lot less critical, unless they happen to be wine experts, in which case nothing can save them, not even Jesus.