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I have just returned from the land of the second most expensive Big Mac and I assure you that no matter how rich you are, Zurich will find ways to make you feel poor as half the population zooms by in one form of Porsche or another. So I just pretended to take notes in Switzerland instead of trying to work up scheming strategies to clean a Swiss bank out.

Swiss wine is not the thing that will inspire Shakespeare or Byron to belt out their best work but then in their defence (the wines, that is), there isn’t substantial proof that alcohol was solely responsible for their epic works. A lot of people have written off Swiss wines either in an effort to belittle the country or to just make little work for themselves.

But you have to think about this. A country that can make watches to last generations, chocolates to feed generations and banks to vault generations; wouldn’t they have it in them to churn out some good wine? Sure they do. There are many ways to find the best wine producers in a country. You can look up on the net, read reviews, make detailed trips through their wine regions or you can simply get your hands on the list of wines being served aboard their national carrier and get a quick glimpse of which wines really are worthwhile.

And I did exactly that. While enjoying the experience of their plush new business class, I tasted every wine they had on board. Sure it kept the hostesses giggling and making gestures about my inebriated state, but hey, at that altitude, after the first few sips, it all doesn’t seem to matter.

Swiss whites definitely rate over Swiss reds, a problem that plagues various other countries too, like Austria and Czech. The lighter style whites are more affable, Pinot Blanc being a highlight of sorts. Chasselas is perhaps the most popular white grape but I struggled to find a good example. Needless to mention, Swiss was serving Chardonnay in first and Pinot Blanc in business on my flight.

In reds, the blends of lighter grapes like Gamay and Pinot Noir make great easy sipping wines but they tend to have a slightly tart (think nail polish remover) aftertaste. In short, I am not entirely taken by them. However the wine served on their first class was a ‘rare find’, the Domaine du Paradis, made with richer grapes and a local specialty, the Gamaret. This wine is rich and corpulent, the kind we enjoy with our meaty main courses. Once again, I had found my (easy) love through the silent yet sure guidance of an in-flight menu. Hallelujah!

Maybe it was the wine, maybe the special vegan meals from that famed Hiltl restaurant recreated for on-board service, maybe it was that special air cushion seat which the new Swiss aircrafts employ that hum gently while vainly trying to replicate a pro-shiatsu knead, or maybe, and more probably, it was the combination of all these factors that collectively make the wine become the classic that punctuates evening cocktail conversations; the kind where people wax eloquent about their recent trip to this Alpine kingdom.

Lastly, on an unrelated note, I didn’t see one fat person in Switzerland. Porsche doesn’t make cars for fat people no matter how rich they are. Maybe I did see one obese object but I guess she was a tourist. Which just gives you an idea of who is eating all the Swiss chocolates.

Email: s_magandeep@dnaindia.net