Tips on how to host a good party

I love a good party. Doesn’t everyone? For me, a good party is one where the guests are hosted comfortably, not all packed into too small an area, leaving guests feeling hot and messy. Think about whether you need to invite everyone at one go… A good evening comprises enough food served in a timely fashion, comfortable seating, good ambience, music and a smoke-free area.

Tall order? In that case, what usually makes up for the lack of some or all of the above is a warm, hospitable host/hosts.

Socialites in Mumbai are a tough bunch to host — couple that with a faux pas filled evening, and you’re sure to be left with one big disaster. So what does one do when entertaining to make sure that all your efforts went into making your guests happy? Here’s my take on what I think might work for almost anyone in any setting — maybe with the exception of entertaining family, as that’s a whole separate ball game!

My rule of thumb while entertaining is to make it worthwhile — which literally means ‘make it worth their while’. And whether it’s an event (business) or a party (personal), you still want people leaving with a good feeling.

If you’re entertaining on a weeknight, unless the date is pre-fixed (birthday, anniversary, official event) try and do it as close to the weekend as possible. A Thursday usually works best as it does not clash with too many other parties and so you’ll have your guests at yours for more than a ‘stop-by’.

If you are doing a sit down dinner, please make sure the food is excellent. There is nothing more torturous than being at a sit down with food that doesn’t work.

For a sit down also please very carefully allocate seats. While the novelty factor of meeting new people at these events is great, you should take care to make sure that your guests actually want to know each other. Balance the table with talkers and the more quiet people. The idea is for people to have a fun evening, not be challenged to get through it.

Greet all your guests, no matter how large the event. This is so important to be a perfect host! This can be a challenge, but hosts like Amitabh Bachchan and Nita Ambani make it a point to greet each and every one of their guests no matter who they are.

Look good, but be appropriate. There is a fine line between being ‘dolled up’ and being over dressed. While a hostess has a license to wear her best dress, pay for make-up and hair and even hire a stylist if necessary, looking way too overdone as compared to everyone else is plain awkward. One way to avoid this is to let people clearly know about the dress code. However, dressing down is worse than dressing up. Just because you’re in your own home, don’t wear flats, or over ‘comfortable’ shoes. In fact, I have a friend who greets her first few guests barefooted and only dons her Louboutins once the swarms start coming in! Clever and glamorous.

On that note, be careful when choosing your dress code. Formal attire should be worn to a formal venue, where the temperature will be cool. It is torturous to wear Indian (women) or suits (men) when it is hot or even warm. If you are planning a costume party, give enough notice and involve yourself in your guests planning. It will make them more confident to arrive in the necessary attire.

Mix your crowds and introduce your friends. Don’t be afraid to do this. People like to know more people and it is tacky if a host is insecure about her friends becoming friends with each other... If they’re your true friends they’re not going to run away with each other, so relax and enjoy your event and let others as well.

Do not be late. In Mumbai we believe that a dinner invitation means that people will arrive at least an hour after the said time. So if you invite your guests from ‘9:30pm onwards’, you will expect them to start arriving at 10 pm.

However, society has evolved and we now have enough expats or Western thinkers who actually show up on time. Nothing is worse than arriving at a dinner party even 15 minutes after the time of the invitation and being painfully aware that you are earlier than the hosts. 

As a host or hostess, it is very important for you to help your guests converse with each other. Start conversations and delicately ease out of the group. Pick topics that you think both or all guests in that particular conversation will enjoy, but without being too obvious about it. You don’t want a guest to feel like they need the help.

Mingle! Mingle! Mingle! Difficult as it might be, meander through the crowds, spend a few minutes with every single guest if you can and make people feel like you appreciate that they came for you.

The only acceptable exception to this rule is if it’s a children’s party you’re hosting, in which case, the children are the stars, the guests and require the entertaining. And everyone knows how difficult that is! So if your focus is on them instead of the mums, that is totally acceptable.

And last, but definitely not the least. Please do thank people for their gifts. Sometimes we forget to do this, but when you are the one doing the gifting, you realise how much it means to get a simple ‘thank you.’ Generic SMSes thanking everyone is not the same thing.

Happy hosting and hostessing! As a couple, please feel free to divide and conquer, but your sophistication will appear through your good manners! And as I always say, it is easy to buy the ‘good life’, but to live it well; you have to know the right way!