The Zeenat Enigma

The first time I met Zeenat Aman, who celebrated her birthday yesterday, was in Bangalore on the sets of the Hollywood-Bollywood production Shalimar in the late 70s.

I was 18 and newly out of college and working as a lowly assistant to the film's director Krishna Shah; She was 25 and not only one of the country's most popular stars, but also the heroine of the film.

More than that of course she was the country's enduring sex symbol, who as 'Janice' Dev Anand's free spirited, wayward sister in Hare Rama Hare Krishna, had swayed her hips to RD Burman's catchy 'Dum maro dum' and stolen its heart.

Irrespective of the differences in our age and stature, any one who has been involved in a film shoot—especially one that is conducted on an outdoor location—will know how easily the unit, the stars, the crew and the production hands meld together as one family.

Thus it came to pass that Zeenat and I became friends and spent a fair amount of time not only during the making of the film but well in to our later lives through marriages children and even now-in our middle ages.

The last time I spoke to her was a few days ago when we made plans to meet, if and when either of us would agree to venture out of our comfort zones, which happened to lie at opposite ends of the same city.

Zeenie baby

What was it like being friends with one of the country's biggest stars and its most celebrated sex symbol when she was at the height of her success?

For one, it was incredibly glamorous. Unlike the other heroines of her time who epitomised the 'Ask mummy' syndrome, Zeenat was truly a modern woman. She lived in a tiny, but well appointed, apartment at Malabar Hill's Napean Sea road with her mother Mrs Heinz.

Not only did she earn her own living, but perhaps because of her convent school education at a boarding school in Panchgani, her stint at a college in California and the fact that she'd lived in Germany for a while with her step father and mother, she was international in her outlook, Westernised in her behaviour and unapologetically independent.

Having the leading star of the day as my big, cool, friend meant I could accompany her in her orangey-gold Mercedes to parties and premieres and film shoots; get to watch from the sidelines as the country's top socialites tried to befriend her and attend their parties; and of course get a ring-side view in to her perennially active love life.

With Zeenat I tasted my first glass of white wine, went dancing to one of the country's first discotheques (the Blue Fox in Bangalore), met the artist MF Husain in Delhi and even participated in a bird shoot in Bikaner.

Love fool

Through it all it never failed to amaze me even then how a woman of considerable intelligence and savvy could be so foolish and vulnerable when it came to matters of the heart. She would fall in love all the time, often with the most unworthy of characters, men who barely deserved her.

And when she fell, inevitably it would be hard and all consuming. To say that Zeenat's love life was like a rollercoaster ride would not be an exaggeration. More often than not she would be disappointed, betrayed or let down by the men she'd chosen to give her heart to.

But what always endured was that her feelings were always sincere. There was no guile or artifice in how she loved. When she loved it was with her entire being and with no agendas and it pained her friends and family no end to watch how she wasted her purest emotions on those unworthy of her.

Grace incarnate

That was just part of the Zeenat enigma, and of course no one held it against her.

But apart from her wayward heart, what pleases me about how life has turned out for Zeenat is the manner in which she has embraced her senior years.

She is an exemplary mother to her two sons Zahaan and Azaan. She has accepted her growing years with exceptional grace, dressing in age-appropriate and dignified ensembles and there appears to be no bitterness for some of her life's harsher moments and no yearning for dreams unfulfilled. She does not seek attention from the media or public, conducts herself with enormous dignity in public and appears to be at peace with herself and the world.

The last time I met her was at a popular suburban eatery at the birthday of a mutual friend in the company of many ladies from the film world. Even though there was a top actress in our midst, one of the industry's best known of the current crop of stars, it was Zeenat who commanded all the attention in the restaurant, prompting strangers to come up for autographs and selfies with her.

As always, I was delighted to see that my old friend had not changed. She conducted herself with the same warmth and grace as she'd always done.

I write this on her 65th birthday. Most women would balk at the mention of that date. But Zeenat is not most women. She is and will always be the one who ushered in her contemporaries into the brave new world.

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