The choice is yours

“Anika, can you find me my tie, please. I am getting late for work.” Anika who was rushing to make breakfast for her husband, immediately joins him to find his tie. On reaching their bedroom, she notices everything from the cupboard has been rummaged and dropped on the floor in the process to find the tie. She opens a drawer, takes it out and gives it to him. Despite her irritation about the mess created in the room, she decides to keep quiet. She is again beckoned by him asking if the breakfast is ready. She dashes to the kitchen and fetches him what was made. “Oh, I’ll rather eat something at work. This is not made according to my liking.” He gets up and leaves. Before Anika could register her husband’s discontentment, her daughter summons her to find her book.

This was a regular morning feature for Anika who lived with her 15-year-old daughter and husband of 20 years. Once they left she would read for hours together thinking about the happenings and developments in the world. Somehow it took her away from her own reality.

Humdrum of daily routine got on her. She sensed something was missing in her life. Her wish list from the subconscious was suddenly out. And she now felt the urge to work towards it, only to make her wonder why she couldn’t do it all these years. She realised her time was used only to complete the chores and run some errands for her home and family. There was no time for herself. How she wished for some ‘me time’!

Well, Anika is normal in feeling the way she does. Not that doing things for one’s family is something wrong. What is wrong is the fact that she is taken for granted and expected to do whatever she has been doing for years. Taken for granted attitude corrodes any relationship. It is a basic human tendency to be liked, cared for, valued and respected. These small gestures can go a long way in making a relationship worthwhile. In Anika’s case, the biggest mistake she made was she forgot herself in the process of meeting her family’s needs. She forgot she too had needs. Respect yourself.  Women, if you wish to be treated like a doormat you will be, wish to be treated like a queen and you will be. The choice is yours!