Rick's Ramblings: Reckless rebound

I recently found out over brunch that my closest friend, who broke up a couple of months earlier, has fallen in love again. I was almost happy and raised a toast to love till she said, who it was and then I needed to gulp down the glass in my hand and needed many more bellinis to keep the news down because it was the worst news I had heard. I would rather her be heartbroken than date this one. I wanted to be happy for her on finding love after the horrid breakup, but knowing who she has fallen in love with, scared the hell out of me because I knew what it would end up into. He was a notorious a**hole known to date a certain kind of rich girls typically after a breakup, and take advantage of the vulnerable situation, and get stuff out of them.

It was a pattern and to make it worse, he had dated two other friends of mine over the years and well those didn’t end well and they had the same story. I was really conflicted if I should tell her or not, but then I decided to tell her because I couldn’t be that kind of friend, who keeps quiet knowing fully well the friend is headed into a dangerous trap. And the bellinis helped, so I blurted it all out to her, but the moment I opened my mouth and told her it was total madness, she went into a total defensive mode and gave me a long filmy explanation and it wasn’t her explanation. It was the guy’s version for why he did what he did and how he has changed and how it’s all different this time with her and he has actually fallen in love for the first time with her and all that age-old bulls**t and my sweet friend had bought it. I wanted to believe her, but I couldn’t because first, I didn’t have my rosy “I’m in love glasses” on like she did and second this “I have changed and you and I are different “ dialogue works for Bollywood movies if Ranveer Singh is saying it, but not in real life.

As judgmental as it sounds, the reality is most people are a certain way and that rarely changes. They say “a tiger can’t change its stripes” for a reason anyway. This whole thing made me wonder — do otherwise sane and logically sound women go wonky and insane when it comes to picking a partner especially after a major breakup?’  And if so, I wondered why are we so hungry for validation after a breakup that we are ready to pick anything that’s lying around that no one will pick and for good reason because it’s toxic. But you choose it knowing it all yet believing it will be different with you, and if so, is it belief or simple delusion or is it just desperation? I wondered...