Rick's Ramblings: Let go and move on

Out of love and yet simply hanging on because of fear of the unknown ahead? Or are we just so comfortable with our dysfunctional relationship that no matter how insufficient it might be or however messed up it is, we still choose to hang on to it rather than moving away from it and finding something that is actually fulfilling? At times, it’s also the guilt and regret of all the time and effort invested over the years in it and ultimately letting go of it all makes us feel like it was all for nothing, right? These are all different reasons that explain why we hang on to our dysfunctional relationships even when we know it’s not working out anymore! However, we try and make sense of it. I think it’s a waste of time, you can’t try and make sense of something that doesn’t make sense any more. Sometimes it’s like a painting we took a lot of time adding different colours to it that we believed were nice and tried to make it perfect. It might also look pretty at some point on the way but after a time you realise, it is a mess but you still hang on to it, try and add more nuances to it and ultimately you realise it’s just an ugly blob of colour — something that isn’t pleasant and you do not like it. 

You see a lot of beautiful colours separately, if you analyse it, but all of it together doesn’t make sense. Also, you realise that since you have invested so much time and worked so hard on it for so long, you might as well hang it in the drawing room and just call it “art”, which it isn’t anymore! Everyone who walks into the room can see it and realise it’s just an ugly jingle-jangle of colours hanging there but you refuse to take it off. You believe you are convincing people that it is art that honestly no one is convinced about. You are just scared to keep the wall empty for a bit and get a blank canvas and start with a fresh coat of paint. You’re nervous about starting afresh and you’re also worried what if the new painting also ends up becoming ugly by the end, but then again there are chances it might turn out fabulous. You will never know till you throw out this unsightly piece and empty the wall space, who knows maybe you have learnt from the previous one — what not to do this time, what colours not to use and for all you know, this time you create a masterpiece. So there’s no point hanging on to dead, dysfunctional relationships, no matter what the reason you have in your head, it’s just not valid or fair to you!

A relationship is like art, it needs to be beautiful and pleasing, even if it’s not perfect, it needs to make sense at least to you. An ugly blob of paint splashed over and over for a long time isn’t art, no matter how much you want to make sense of it and call it that, but it’s just a mess. So burn it down, throw it away and get a new canvas and start afresh and as I said, who knows this time you might just create a masterpiece, so take that chance.