Rainbow Guru column: A free class on sex, gender and sexual orientation

Dear Sushant, 
My friend is gay, but how can he be gay when his parents are straight? He has an elder sister who is of straight preference as well. Then how is he the only one who identifies as gay in his family? It is very weird. —Mr Uninitiated

Hello hello Mr Uninitiated,

So this is for everyone — a free class on sex, gender and sexual orientation.

First of all, everyone needs to stop saying ‘sexual preference’ and start calling it what it is ie ‘orientation’. I’m not gay because I ‘choose’ to be gay. Just like I didn’t choose for my hair colour to be black, or have a genetically big bum for that matter!

Also, my parents are straight! So this whole confusion as to ‘OMG his parents are straight and so is the rest of his family!’ is stupid. I can have a child through surrogacy and that child can be straight.

But I still don’t understand — do you have a problem with your friend being gay? Or do you have a problem that his parents and sister are straight? Or do you have a problem because you don’t actually know why you have a problem?

What is ‘very weird’ is that you think this way. There is no problem with your friend or his family members, but is with you not minding your business.

I saw this very funny but apt saying in a club’s restroom: “Tu apna dekh”. So I want to tell you, “tu bhi apna dekh.” 

Basically, mind your own business and don’t worry about how and why someone’s orientation is ‘weird’ because, a piece of advice, bothering too much about theirs won’t do any good for your own. Cheers and chill out!