Reported By:
| Edited By: Sushant Divgikar |Source: DNA |Updated: Mar 04, 2017, 08:30 AM IST
Hello Mr I am so lonely.
First of all, I want to tell you that you are already in a better place than most others because you have understood and acknowledged your orientation at such a young age. Some people suppress their orientation and individuality for decades, feeling forced to conform to hetero-normative ways of thought and behaviour.
You, on the other hand, have saved yourself all those years of turmoil. What you need to do now is OWN what you have found within yourself.
You needn’t be depressed as long as there are people like myself, the ever so amazing Harish Iyer, Ashok Row Kavi, and so many others that you could connect with on social media. Just drop in or talk to us and more people like us at any place which is convenient for you. You could also find a support group, counsellor, or friend. You can take your time to come out of the closet, but in case it’s getting too claustrophobic in there, we are always there to help you.
There is no need to be anxious because you are gay or because it’s different from what people may expect you to be. Just be you! You cannot be exactly like someone else, even if you try your hardest. Even generically, regardless of sexual orientation, you shouldn’t feel anxious whether you’re labelled fat, thin, short, dark, ugly and all those other adjectives. People will have an issue one way or the other. You could be perfect according to someone and yet to someone else you will fall short if you don’t conform to their idea of how you should be. So, don’t pay any, and I mean ANY, heed to what people will think. They aren’t paying your bills, darling.
Right now, you may feel like you are the ONLY gay person on the planet, but it’s more pink out there than you can imagine. According to a recent census, one in 10 men is gay, and we are a very populated country, so do the math!
When you’re feeling extremely low, you can call the Humsafar Trust and get on the phone with a counsellor who will help you through the emotional turmoil. I’m sure the next time you write in, you will tell me how awesome it was! Don’t ever let anyone dim your sparkle. We are not meant to fit in, we are all meant to stand out.
I would like to conclude by quoting RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell do you expect anybody else to love you.”
(Mr Gay India 2014, Sushant Divgikar is your counsellor, guide and conscience through the waters of sexuality)
Write to him at sexualitydna@gmail.com
