Of alcohol and nooky

I can only come when I’m a few drinks down,” confessed a friend. “Otherwise, no go.” She isn’t alone. A lot of us women, and most men, think that a couple of drinks are the gateway to a woman’s unleashed libido. I grew up on Hindi movies that had women who imbibed the forbidden spirit morphing instantly into bacchanalians. But does alcohol really lead to those toe-curling, full body seismic wave-inducing orgasms we all hanker after? Or does it just, gently, catch hold of all the inhibitions that we hold ourselves back with and fling them out of the window until the high wears off and the hangover begins.

Alcohol, as you might know, is biphasic. It stimulates while it begins increasing its levels in the bloodstream and when levels begin falling, it is a depressant. For me, any alcohol consumed above two measures comes with standing instructions that I am not responsible for what I say or do, and should not be held against me in a court of law.

Seriously though, while alcohol might be great for doing away with inhibitions, when it comes to getting one off, it might not be a great idea for a number of reasons. The good bard Shakespeare knew what he was talking about when he wrote that drink “…provokes the desire, but takes away the performance.” We might pay heed. A drink in ‘modest’ quantities, as researchers tell us, is all good for loosening inhibitions. But go further, and an excess of alcohol does desensitise us. This might be a good thing if you’re scheduling a Brazilian wax, but when you’re planning some nooky it would rather defeat the purpose. Ironically, alcohol tends to make one want sex, because it makes a woman’s testosterone levels go higher, which in turn increases arousal levels... you get my drift.

There’s also alcohol goggles to contend with, where everything and everyone is smoother and more attractive. But, at the same time, while you’re waiting to get some action, your body is desensitised, your responses are delayed and that’s a difficult combination to handle smoothly. Add to this a decrease in what is known as vasocongestion, namely when your vaginal tissues swell making it easier for penetration. This reduces with alcohol, as does internal lubrication of the vagina. Think sandpapering your insides? Nothing that a bit of lubricating jelly can’t handle, but yes, the road to the big-O — post a fair bit of alcohol — might just be peppered with some speed breakers.

Most women though do tend to know their upper limit beyond which they zone out in the sack. A study conducted in 2011 found that a high dose of alcohol reduced women’s arousal levels, while a moderate dose had no effect. Common consensus is that two drinks is the golden mean. But then everyone reacts differently to alcohol and other, err, stimulations. Perhaps the fact that we associate alcohol with earthshaking nooky, thanks to the good press it has been getting through myth and popular culture is what makes us believe it helps us get an orgasm. Perhaps what really does help with the orgasms after alcohol is that we don’t filter everything through the screen of “should I be doing this” and “what will he/she think of me” and just lie in the warmth of the “oh, that feels so good.” And that perhaps is where we need to help ourselves reach, with or without the help of alcohol.

(Kiran Manral is the author of seven published books across genres. She is also a recovering Nutella addict.)

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