Mumbai spreads gay in Delhi

Last week I returned from my visit to Delhi where I was attending the Indo-US Exchange Alumni Conference. I am an alumnus of the International Visitor Leadership Programme that was organised by the Obama administration, also the reason why I flaunt my flaunt-worthy Twitter follower – Barrack Obama.

Being the only speaker from Mumbai for the session titled 'Ignite Talks', I was representing our beloved city of Mumbai. I spoke about male child sexual abuse and sexuality, all in the little time of three minutes that were allotted to me. My 'Mumbaiyya' openness resonated with the 150 plus super-elite delegates who were present from all across India and Bhutan and the super-duper amazing US consulate staff.

In the question and answer session, former RJ and ex-NDTV patrkaar, Vasanthi Hari, the moderator, grappled as she read out a gentleman's question: "ARE YOU PROMOTING GAY?" She assumed for a moment that I would be offended but I was not. I like people who ask me questions upfront, rather than those who speak behind my sexy back. I obviously clarified that no one can become gay or straight, you just are or you are not. It is not some sort of a disorder, it is the order of nature. But I didn't leave without adding a little quirky remark, "I don't know if anyone can promote 'gay'. At least I don't have any intention to; but yes, people have promoted 'straight' to me. They would want me to get married to some girl or the other all the time!" I also explained that this was not just about homosexuality but also about women's rights, as it is a woman whose life is sacrificed for a gay man who is pushed in the closet.

This stirred several informal conversations around the way gay people have sex. The world is obsessed with sex. Especially if you belong to a marginalised community that is also known for their sexual orientation; you are branded as someone who is a superman in bed. People start assuming that you spend your entire lives either thinking about sex or practising it. The truth is, yes we may have it better than single heterosexuals but we still have many 'action-less' days. I have seen 'dry days' and 'dry months' and sometimes, only when I go abroad, am I able to say, "kabse is banjar zameen pe baarish ki ek boondh tak nahi giri. Ab tum aaye ho, toofan aayega."

Homosexuals are not sex gods. But the lack of formal societal structures gives us the opportunity to build our own culture the way we want. Though not all, many of us would love to get into a fairy tale love affair followed by a lifetime of commitment. But unlike heterosexual marriages, maybe we don't put up with bull$h@t all our lives when we are not compatible. We choose real happiness over make-believe happiness. That way, we do spread gay. The happy-wala gay.

I mean, gay mhanje happy, happy mhanje Mumbai.

(Activist Harish Iyer shares his entertaining adventures through Mumbai’s landscape)

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