‘Left’ out in politics

My good friend Jayant Ray is very upset. His philosophy, his way of life, his political party has been routed. Yup, the Left fared worse than the Kolkata Knight Riders (rumour has it the team was picked  by the Left in the first place, so now, you know who to blame). Jayant is in a state of complete shock.

For a man who spent 11 blissful years of marriage by ignoring his wife, Ray has suddenly turned into an awkward babbler who can’t leave his wife’s side (albeit her left one). Worse still the jokes are coming thick and fast, “Hey Jayant what do you call the Left in Indian politics? The Left Out in Indian Politics” comes the deafening answer. ‘Hey Jayant what’s Newton’s fifth law of motion? The Left can never be right.” “Hey Jayant if 24 Karat is the highest denomination, what is the lowest? Prakash Karat”.
Unkind people are taking it even further. The attendant in the locker room irons only Jayant’s right sock and leaves the Left out for all to observe.

For poor Jayant, for 30 odd years he was brought up on a staple diet of red…er culture. He continued the trend with the next generation naming both his children Fidel and Vladmir. Incidentally both are girls. Now with communism routed in Kerala and Bengal, his idea of holidaying in Cuba might eventually turn out to be a much longer stay as judging by the poll reality there are only three communists left in India and two of them are on life support.

Yup the Great Indian Redmen might become extinct well before the Bengal Tiger or the Snow Leopard; both animals apparently avowed non-Communists, I may add post-elections Jayant finds each day unbearable. There are too many memories.

While crossing the road he dare not look both sides. While driving he’s constantly faced by red lights and worse still to rub salt in the proverbial wound he gets the feeling that he’s consistently being overtaken by the right. Poor Jayant. Even the kids practicing the march past for school don’t spare him. Left, left, left Ray left, left, left left Ray left…