How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... writes Priyanka Chaturvedi

Hope you don’t  think this poetic, lovey mush is my Valentine Day hangover. Mister Chaturvedi would be massively embarrassed if I even attempted to do this mushy poetry recitation to express myself. So, no! Banish such thoughts instantly! 

As a kid, I grew up in a family which wasn’t very expressive about their love at every given opportunity, but that in no way meant that ours was a loveless home. Actions spoke louder than any words could ever manage. There was an unspoken bond of understanding in place without anyone having to say it in as many words. Thankfully, the bond has only got stronger as we grow older. 

My parents are religious, but at no point did they ever choose to impose their beliefs and ideas on how we chose to follow our religion. Of course, there was an environment that existed and the dos and don’ts were in place but there wasn’t a compulsory rule book to adhere to. For me, my faith is deeply personal just as my love for my family and my country is. Just because I don’t proclaim it, doesn’t mean I don’t believe in it. I seek no certificate from people.

As a mother, I have set definite boundaries for both my kids and they understand that they’ll be pulled up if they cross those. If they choose to disagree with me within those boundaries, I will not dissuade them from doing so. I have noticed my almost-a-teen son chooses to be rebellious and argumentative if I try to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. So, as a mother, I get him to sit down and tell me his issues in doing the work assigned.

Most times, it is because I have tried to bulldoze my way through, so we find a middle ground best suited and move on!

This week, as events unfolded on a campus, it was extremely disturbing to see how on some news debates that I was a part of, students were being asked to prove their patriotism by mouthing Bharat Mata ki Jai. It brought the sonnet, which is the headline of this column, to mind. It was a competition to see if  your patriotism could outshine my idea of patriotism. Can all minds think alike? Can everyone’s way of loving and expressing be the same? Are all fingers of a hand the same size and used for the same purpose?

What is heartening to note and I say this after several interactions with students from across cities that most of our young citizens understand their responsibilities to uphold the constitutional freedoms guaranteed to them and they also understand the consequences if they choose to defy them. Yet, time and again, we see their space to debate and dissent within those parameters is being challenged. The only fear I have is that if we don’t curb our tendency to be in absolute control in areas which we don’t have to, it will soon witness a backlash that we aren’t prepared for.