Here's what is wrong with us as people

There is obviously something wrong with us as a people. Seriously wrong. The reasons are because of the way we think and let me expand on these, in point form, below.

We hate our politicians. We detest them to the core. Yet we want them at every bash. We crawl when asked to walk. We love them when they are next to us. We deride them when they aren’t. We abuse them behind their backs but we love them when faced with their benign presence. No industrialist except perhaps Anil Agrawal says nice things about Chidambaram or his Budgets yet when Chidambaram attends some chamber of commerce event they call him a dream FM and his Budgets ‘dream  budgets’ even though they are an enduring nightmare. We loved Kejriwal when he was sailing into them and now when Kejriwal is a politician there are enough cynics (including yours truly) as to how he will do

We ridicule Bollywood and yet there has to be a star at every award function be it for Innovation or for Science. Even tech shows rely on Bollywood stars telling us how inventive they are when typing on their blackberries’. We privately talk about their low intellect and yet every literature festival wants to hear Rakhi Sawant recite some form of poetry. We envy their zero sizes and yet there is a rush of intellectual publishers to publish their ‘diet’ books. We feel they are dumb and uncaring and yet every corporation wants to call them for any CSR function. They are now called upon to inaugurate a jewellery show as also launch our next mission to Mars. So much for our double-speak.

Every noveau riche host will ensure some hapless guests like us have to suffer their newly acquired tastes and thus must have the most wretched continental food when all that house is good at, is mutton curry. But then again, if we are made to have the worst pasta with some Indian garam masala we talk about it as fusion food but never accept the refinement and legendary goodness of our won flavours of India. Why can’t some of these Parameshwars-come-lately realise that they are better off serving tandoori chicken than truffle infused tuna. And while on the subject, can some of our revered Editors stop writing about omlettes and the perfect egg. Do we give a toss?

Most Indians go to London in summer only because they don’t want to be left behind in India with their maids for company. Which is why they take their help with them. And when in London, most Indians do the things they do here. Act loutish; wait for Ravi Ghai to buy them drinks and then wait again for Ravi Ghai to take them to Gaylord’s. So why do they pretend they are in London to see plays or for that matter the opera when all they are doing is what they do here in India.
Freeload and brag. All they need to be is honest and tell us they are in London because their
relatives still haven’t been deported and they have a house to stay in to save VAT on hotel bills.

Finally, when will we as a nation wait for everyone to fail and take infinite pleasure in their failure until they are successful again and back in our social circles? Why don’t we let people be? How does it matter who’s sleeping with who as long as it is not your wife or your husband? How does it matter who has more money as long as it hasn’t been stolen from you? Why can’t we begin to laugh again? Not at each other but just at the way life is...including ourselves. Have a super 2014.