For kids, you know…, writes Sajid Khan

Though I am in my mid-40s, I really don’t feel that old. Until I interact with teenagers aged 14-16. But after spending a couple of hours with them, not only do I feel as young as them but at times younger. The session which started off with me giving advice to them ends up with me taking advice from them. Kya hai na, aaj ka 15- year-old ka experience of life is similar to 20 years ago ke 30-year- olds. Nahi samjhe? Samjhata hoon. Samjhata hoon.

Today’s average teenager is highly aware. Intelligent. Experienced. Ambitious. And also completely opposite to all the adjectives I just mentioned. Whenever I am invited to speak at a public forum, be it a college, school or a business event, I happily attend. If my talking can motivate anybody for the better, then I am always honoured to be a motivational speaker. Recently, I was called to speak to 15-16-year-olds who had just joined college. Having been a notorious teenager myself, I know for a fact that the one thing teenagers don’t like is patronising. You got to give them advice but in a casual and humorous way. If they sense that the person speaking to them is an elder and not a friend, they will take all your talks, aur ek kaan se ghusake dusre kaan se nikalenge. So I make it fun, slightly inspirational and add lots of stand-up comedy to it.  

Presenting to you, a few excerpts from my previous session with these college kids.

“Value this time in your life, kids. Because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices. It goes by so fast. Now that you’re a teenager, you think you can do anything and you do. Your 20s are a blur. Thirties, you raise your family. You make a little money and you think to yourself, ‘What happened to my twenties?’ In your 40s, you grow a little pot belly, you grow another chin! The music starts to get too loud. One of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother! In your 50s, you have a minor surgery. The doctor will call it routine but it’s still a surgery. In your 60s, you’ll have a major surgery. The music is still loud, but it doesn’t matter because you can’t hear it anyway. The 70s, you and the wife retire to a farmhouse on the outskirts of the city. You start eating dinner at 2 o’clock in the afternoon, you have lunch around 10 am and breakfast, the night before! You spend most of your time wandering around malls, looking for the ultimate adult diaper, muttering to each other ‘How come the kids don’t call? How come the kids don’t call?’ The 80s, you’ll have a major stroke. You end up babbling to some fat nurse who your wife can’t stand but who you call ‘Mummy’. This is how life goes by kids. So value the present time in your life. If you can’t do some good with it, try not to do anything bad.”

Sometimes, I get a standing ovation. Sometimes, I am asked to leave. But what about the outcome? On a parting note, I always tell all teenagers — You may not agree with what your parents ask you to do. And they may not agree with you. Let’s just say you’re right and your parents are wrong. But even when you are wrong, the only people who are always there are your parents. Perhaps, you didn’t enjoy today’s column. I don’t blame you. It’s for kids, you know…