Capital circus

There is no place better than Delhi this winter. We are having so much fun with our clothes on. We have an army of loonies that have been left to our peril trying to run the Government of Delhi.

We will no longer have athletes in our stadia in Delhi but unpolished and untested MLAs and this is a circus that makes Gemini Circus look like a piece of cake.

Kejriwal has made the muffler the symbol of his righteousness. His cough is the new voice of the people who are struggling to understand the man he is. So let me deconstruct Arvind Kejriwal for you so that you (and the other political parties) know what he is all about.

He is a political jihadi. He can even wage war on himself. He is the kind of bloke who is willing to sign his own death warrant as long as there is some TV channel covering it. He sees a fault in everything. He is the kind of fellow who was punished in class but then led a revolution against the teacher. He is not the kind who will resign in a hurry. He is like the proverbial leech: the feeling will be sensuous but at all times, blood shall be sucked with vigour and alacrity.

He is no democrat. He is a dictator and a very good one at that. He brooks no opposition, which is why, like Caesar; he surrounds himself with men who are fat. Somnath Bharti is his Raj Narain and for no small measure. In the good old days we would abuse the police for traffic snarls. Today we have an entire Cabinet to abuse because these blokes are blocking traffic themselves. This is the classic case of the erstwhile two-in-one. Kejriwal is both Chief Minister and Leader of Opposition rolled into one. I once called him Mamata Banerjee with a muffler but then Mamata looks like a dove in front of him.

Please don’t imagine he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He has the pulse of a large number of people who in any case are always angry. He uses that anger to fuel more anger. He is every fireman’s nightmare. He will start several small fires and watch them turn into a humongous flame. He is not there to win hearts. He is there to be remembered.

Such men are dangerous. They write glowing self-obituaries while alive and then make sure everything they’ve written comes true.

I don’t know if the Kejriwal Government will survive or not. But what I do know is that Kejriwal will survive and prosper. He will abuse everyone he can since he has nothing to lose and besides his party is now rich as well.

The elite are shattered. This is one Chief Minister they can’t invite home because he may steal your cook and make him into an anarchist as well. This is one Chief Minister even Ambassadors will worry about inviting. Imagine him coughing into Angela Merkel’s mouth and you get the drift.

So what do we do with Kejriwal?

I don’t have a clue. But I will give him credit for livening up what would have been a very dull winter. Without Kejriwal we would be listening to Ustad Amjad Ali Khan at some verdant park. Now we have to listen to Kejriwal and his gang of honest folks pouring vitriol on everything and everyone.

Finally, we have someone who is a blend of Pran and Johnny Lever.