I’m 25 years old. I’m at that stage in life where all my girlfriends are getting hitched. I’m the only one in my group without a boyfriend. Now that they’re getting married, it’s really bothering me. It’s all i think about. I have a good job but this worry is not letting me concentrate. How do I get over this?
Dear Desperate Housewife, who in their right mind told you that boyfriends are marriage material? Think of it like paneer makhani and daal, one may be tastier but it surely isn’t good for you. Marriage will surely distract you from work and lower productivity but definitely not before it happens! Calm down, 30 is the new 25 — you have time. And if by then you are also rich, you may not want to marry at all. Either ways, by the time you turn 27 you would have invested two years in your career whereas most of your friends will be negotiating alimony: guess who’ll be laughing then? In short, enjoy the ride and stop worrying about mistakes that you will eventually make in time.
I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for over three months now. The one thing bothers me are his financial habits. I’m always the one who’s paying when we go out, be it movies, dinner or coffee. He always says that he’s short on cash and will pay later. But doesn’t. How do I broach this subject?
Dear Sugar Momma, I honestly don’t know which you are more of – rich or stupid. If you were married, I know some lawyers who could’ve got you your money back with hefty interest but sadly three months won’t hold in any court. Here’s a plan: stop carrying money, or your cards and tell him it’s for serious numerological reasons. Well, keep some, but in places where he won’t come looking (at least not in public). And if that doesn’t work, ration the kisses and the rest, and restrict it till he builds a more respectable credit line. Sure it might make you feel like a bit of a streetwalker at first but it is better than being with a boy who is acting like your pimp!
My roommate’s life is full of problems and she can’t seem to put an end to the issues in her life, be it personal or professional. While I do lend her an ear, I feel like she’s wasting my time because she never listens to any advice I give her. There’s guilt if I avoid her. What do I do?
Dear Agonised Aunt,
I hear ya’ — I give such competent solutions but not one person writes back to thank me. One can safely assume she doesn’t have a boyfriend, or if she does, they need to get a room more often. You are not only wasting your time but also their time by being around too much too often. If you still must advise, charge for it. And if she pays, give her drastic advice, the kind that is do or die – nothing that sits on the fence. It should involve blood. It should focus on not leaving a trail. It should require at least one change of passport and passage through an East-European country.Sum up: don’t listen too intently, surely not for free, and for wisdom’s sake, get rid of that unrequited guilt!
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This whacky columnist refuses to take anything, even the ‘bigger’ relationship issues, too seriously.