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| Edited By: Yoshita Rao |Source: DNA |Updated: Mar 04, 2018, 08:56 AM IST
"Hi! I’m 35, 6.2 feet tall, 8.7 inch tool, interested?” — is a bizarre way to greet someone. Yet this approach, inclusive of an exaggerated ‘tool’ description, maybe what people seeking relationships are hit with when they sign up for ‘instant love’.
It wasn’t until a few years ago that relationships in India only culminated in marriage. Although many types of love affairs blossomed offline in gullies and parks, it is only now explicitly disclosed in the age of apps. Now ‘finding love’ may not be top priority for most, but it definitely remains a selling point for almost all dating apps. “What all these sites are now saying is that like food, sex is a biological drive (which could be easily satiated online),” says psychotherapist, Dr Rizwana Nulwala, founder of Mumbai-based clinic Krizalyz.
While India doesn’t have an app to unite the politically inclined like the US with its ‘Trump.dating’, meant only for Donald Trump supporters, there is Woo to match those with similar intellectual capacities. There are also websites to connect souls seeking the same religious beliefs like Christian Mingles and eHarmony. Among those looking for same sex unions, apps like Grindr — a gay chat app, and Compatible Partners — for Indian lesbians, have grown popular. However, the Indian online dating scene has evolved to satisfy all kinds of fetishes and desires. Here are a few unorthodox ones:
A supposed oasis for Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) based in the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, at IndianCupid you’d think a more liberal society awaits, instead the site asks, ‘Are you manglik?’ The only eligible singles found, hailed from different parts of India and many are drawn to those owning a Green Card.
‘Safely get in touch with cheaters worldwide’ is part of the tag line for the extra-marital dating website and app, Gleeden. “The age group most active on our platform is between 34-49,” says their public relations personnel.
One of the theories of cheating pointed out by Dr Nulwala is that “you love your spouse so much that you would rather cheat than break hearts”, but the app’s motto differs. “Gleeden is a platform that enables couples who are in a monotonous, less compatible or unhappy relationship, find love outside their relationship,” says Solene Paillet, Head of Communication Management, Gleeden.
To sweeten conventional forms of relationships in India, SeekingArrangements (SA) connects wealthy older folk to younger people (above the age of 18). It’s target audience being students who could seek an ‘arrangement’ with ‘Sugar Daddies’ or ‘Mommies’, as found on the site.
A line on the website reads, ‘Average allowance offered in Mumbai, Maharashtra $6,080.’ Albeit financial transactions are strictly forbidden on SA’s site, Alexis Germany, PR Manager SA says, “A Sugar Daddy or Mommy will give their Sugar Baby gifts that can include an allowance in cash.” Many who have come across this website have compared it with the concept of escort services, which Germany insists it is not. “Of course, some people come to the site for the wrong reasons, but if people are using the site properly there should not be an exchange for sex or money.”
Threesome dating sites include Open Minded and Feeld Dating, which stress on connections with ‘like-minded’ people. At a glance, these websites unabashedly scream ‘sex’ in their homepage with words like ‘hook-ups’ and ‘one-night stands’ loosely thrown around to suggest that these polyamorous set-ups are not being viewed seriously.
With all these newfangled apps, the question that arises is, are unconventional relationships the new norm? Dr Nulwala believes she sees monogamous couples on the decline. She adds, “Fewer people want to be in a committed relationship and a large number of my clients, between 20 and 35, are doing a lot more of sexual experimentation as there is so much comfort in exploring sexuality. This is also not based on any value system like love, fidelity and sex or emotional and intellectual compatibility and sex.”
This may not be the last word on online dating, though most of us that have tried it are more often than never left wondering: ‘Where is the love?’
