My life on your timeline: Online activism or validation?

Social media is a double-edged sword. It was the powerful weapon used during the #MeToo movement against sexual crimes. Social media was also responsible for the mighty Arab Spring. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram were also the mediums through which 'Not In My Name' found people from across India standing up against the government being silent on lynchings and killings. These select instances only go to show the power of this tool.

Ankit Lal, author of India Social, which talks about social media being viewed as a political pawn, attributes the start of this online catharsis in India to the #StopAcidAttacks movement started by acid attack survivor Lakshmi in 2013. It made people not only condemn the attacks online, but also share personal stories after their own experiences of being stalked or harassed through a series of posts. "Then Nirbhaya happened, and we all spoke about getting rid of rape."

But the same medium is also used for a plethora of baffling activities. There are forms of attention-seeking behaviours that try to pass off as 'activism', but makes one go, 'what the heck!' For instance, *Ramya Ashraf's profile on Instagram is a patchwork of posts on body positivity gathered from several women. Another Instagram celebrity in the same niche uploads photos of arms raised to expose long, unflattering underarm hair, in some cases even dyed and styled to show that she is proud of not shaving. Be as it may, the question people are asking is why inflict these pictures on the global viewers on the Internet.

Where once there was journaling about one's state of mind, today's generation increasingly wants to clock every emotion online – be it mood swings or grief.

*Janice lost her mother three years ago. Although grief can never be scorned, all of her Instagram posts are pictures of herself with her mom, family nostalgia, objects her mother used, which reduces the healing process of grieving, leaving followers flummoxed.

Does talking about your constant state of mind, a bad hair day, pimples on your face, acne on your back, help one get better or reach acceptance faster than a shoulder to cry on? What makes one put themself in a vulnerable position to strangers? Do the likes and comments of sympathy and solidarity in response to their posts give them some sort of validation?

Give me all your attention

"People who put up such bizarre content online may be trying to convey a certain point, but the main goal behind it all is validation," explains consulting psychologist Kinjal Pandya. "It has little to do with whether they are getting positive feedback online or not, and more to do with eliciting some sort of reaction online. It is just their way of saying 'Look at me!"

One such strange, if ambitious, photo project was taken up by *Sunny Goldman, who takes photos of her lovers to capture their various moods. The resultant photos are black-and-white, out-of-focus, over-exposed and/or blurred, have stark naked men either posing, sitting away or staring back listlessly, or crouching towards her, and appear as if the viewer took them when high. While the images themselves have been tagged voyeuristic, uploading them online makes the voyeurism twofold, as it is now open for all to see. Fashion photographer Atul Kasbekar, whose own shoots are structured and devoid of this element of the tease, says that such experimentation is often an indication of a lack of talent. "You want to stand out however you can. Often the results become more ridiculous than artistic," he explains.

Kasbekar warns of another, more dangerous trend that requires one to protect one's online presence. "The recent spate of videos where faces are morphed onto sex tapes that are making their way around the web goes to show you how far voyeurism has gone," he sighs. "It's more than just about pouty selfies and strange pictures. A need for safety is the call of the hour."

He points towards small-time celebrities, and one-time-famous actors and actresses as typical examples of people who will post anything to stay in public eye online, so long as some of the focus falls their way. "We all know a certain celebrity, who has been using strange Snapchat filters to shoot videos of inane events in her life [all told with a pout of course]," he hints. "A genuinely talented individual can let his work speak."

The myth of the hunter Narcissus falling in love with his own reflection, losing his will to live, passing away and turning into a beautiful flower may date all the way back to ancient Greece, but narcissism now continues to live through social media. "You open yourself up to the possibility of cyber bullying; not everything you put up with the best intentions will be received as such," says Pandya, who adds that negative attention of this nature may have a spiraling effect, leading to depression and self-esteem issues, especially in young adults. When flabby arm and freckles are highlighted as body issues and portrayed as such, they bring attention to attributes of the body that may have otherwise been simply ignored.

An example of following ridiculous fashion fads for no other reason than their popularity would be that of a growing tribe of Kim Kardashian wannabes: eyebrows made thick, arched with not a single hair astray, pouty lips poker straight long hair with middle parting and a ravine of cleavage exposed. Moreover, these unsmiling faces with come-hither lips as selfies are given captions that make no sense. One example is Sandra*, who in her Instagram bio claims her fat lips are real and that the rest of us need to pay a cosmetic surgeon to get what she's been naturally gifted. Yet in the few pictures she's forgotten to Photoshop, her lips are nowhere close to the bloated fish lips smacked with red or nude lipstick.

Where do the lonely hearts go?

Sociologist and columnist, Shiv Vishvanathan likens this regurgitation of matter online to a confessional at the church. Just as one finds solace in the act of speaking one's heart out to a priest, with a certain sense of anonymity, one uses social media as a way to 'confess' to their faceless followers. "People look online for comfort as they are desperate for someone to listen to them. But with everyone speaking, I am doubtful how much listening actually happens," he says. For those like Janice, Vishvanathan says that online consolation can only take one so far. "Healing from any kind of loss is a process, one that has as many stages as a novel written by Dostoevsky," he says, adding, "If social media could completely heal a person, then that would be revolutionary – changing the language of the Internet – but that has not happened yet."

The feeling of community and solidarity found online can be compared to alcoholics finding solutions in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, feels Dr Rizwana Nulwala, psychotherapist and founder of Krizalyz, a counselling and mental health service. "Every time somebody validates your post with a like or comment, it triggers the same reward mechanism or 'high/kick' in the brain that you get on consuming alcohol or drugs. So every time you feel low, you deal with it by just posting a picture to feel better," she says, viewing this as a direct result of alienation.

She observes how many below the age of 35 years in India are increasingly leading a hyper-individualistic lifestyle like the West, with hopeless dependence on the Internet and the phone, which have replaced their interaction with real world. Many move to work in another city, and may not have the luxury to make friends outside work. Despite feeling isolated, the virtual world to them feels less threatening. "Online, you can just cut off someone you don't like, delete comments or choose not to respond, and unfriend or unfollow. In the real world, you need social skills for a one-on-one conflict resolution," says Nulwala. This, she adds, is why introverts, especially, prefer to vent on online forums and block themselves from offline interactions as these require diplomatic and social skills.

One can endlessly debate the pros and cons of the serious and the frivolous that's being posted online, whether it takes away from the original reason that social media was created, or whether one should democratically accept the good with the froth. But as Kinjal Pandya suggests, the option of unfollowing or switching off, ultimately lies with you.

*Names changed