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A few days ago an American friend used a word I hadn't heard in many years to describe a situation we see practically every day, one that we should be ashamed of. She used the word "disgraceful". That got me thinking of how this word, once so used, has fallen into decay — of how, in today's world, so little is considered disgraceful, or shameful.

My friend was commenting on a newspaper item about a head doctor in a public hospital caught in a spurious drugs racket. She felt, as I did, that even within the realms of a laxity of values in general, and a greater acceptance of corruption, vileness and lies in public and private lies, there are certain borders that went beyond the ken — and a doctor indulging in a practice that leads to deaths was beyond that line.

It is all around us, isn't it? A senior police officer caught molesting a girl and leading to her death; senior politicians rollicking in bed with several women at a time and wearing khadi to prove their uprightness; judges caught taking bribes from rich criminals with high connections; army generals buying unsafe equipment from dubious manufacturers who have paid them off…….

Before the SMS campaign for Jessica Lall, Manu Sharma was being invited to many of the high society parties that dot the Delhi calendar. He was talked to and joked with by those whom we see either on page three or giving government gyan in the newspapers and on talk shows. As if nothing had happened. And once he is out on bail he probably will be, once again. Is this not shameful?

Where have the concepts of shame, maryada, grace gone? In the ritual hypocrisy that is bandied about as hamari sanskriti? And what do we know about this, this sanskriti that we do to death verbally?

We “paun chuo” elders. Have you noticed that we don't even bend to touch the feet? That knees is all we get to? (Jeans too tight? Too much fat on the belly?) It is a meaningless ritual that shows no respect but is forced upon us. And yet what a graceful idea, a wonderful idea it represents. When we touch the feet of a guru, it is not she to whom we bow, but to the trail of knowledge that she represents, from her guru's guru, to her guru, then to her and perhaps through us to the next generation. It also represents the breaking down of our ego, to equate our knowledge to the dust beneath her feet, and to remind ourselves of the long journey of knowledge and perfection that lies ahead of us. That is grace. Touching the knees, and only just, is a disgrace.

And shame. We are shameless about the semi-nude women paraded before us as editorial content in our newspapers every day. We are shameless about mentally deranged women roaming our streets and being raped. We are shameless about the way we disregard those in need. We are shameless in our greed and consumerism. And yet we are ashamed and outraged when someone speaks the unappetising truth; or, when someone goes against conventions; or, when someone dares to follow their own truth.

When did all this get turned upside down? Did we notice it happening? Do we care? Must we not?

Let us take the time at the beginning of this new decade about grace — the grace shown through kindness, gentleness, consideration, generosity of spirit. Let us become part of that grace. If anything is in short supply in the world, that is.