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ShareBangalore: In a sobered, unemotional voice she relives the early day of her son's addiction that once came as a shock to Sunita. "He was the kind of boy whom everyone loved, very quiet, he had few friends and almost never caused any trouble. So we had no idea whatsoever that he was into drugs."
Her first response, she confesses, was disbelief, as parents are seldom braced to deal with such a situation. Giving more details, she says, "I was very busy with my work and I was under the impression that Sam was only going to college. In fact, I had no idea that he even hung out with friends. My sister spotted him passing a cigarette in a car with a few boys and she informed us. Soon we were finding strips of pills in his pocket and we knew something was wrong. Workers in my office also told me that he had been begging people for money."
Sunita admits that what made it easier was her son's honesty when he was confronted. Her 26-year-old son then narrates his side of the tempestuous journey: "Curiosity was what drove me to drug use. I first experimented with alcohol and marijuana. I didn't even know what drugs were; they just gave me a good feeling. After six months of usage, I could sense that something in my personality had changed."
Today, eight years after his first rendezvous with drugs, Rahul is studying hard to complete his second PUC examinations. He says that since children are immature and cornered with a lot of pressure, substance abuse gives them that feeling of being in control and being successful. Now, on the road to recovery, he is quick to add: "Initially, drugs may make you feel confident and in control, but with repeated use you'll find yourself desperate to replicate that feeling and you'll be hooked before you know. No one willingly gets addicted." Albert PJ, director, Abhayam, a rehabilitation centre for people like Rahul, explains that the age bracket for drug use starts from the teens.
Giving parents a few pointers on noticing symptoms of an addiction, Albert says, "Changes in a child's behaviour, articles missing from home, tantrums, anger, shabby dressing, staying out of home for prolonged periods of time, being absent from school, etc, may be symptoms of a growing addiction. Parents need to know what's happening in their child's life."
Urging parents to spend time with their children, he says, "Teenagers need help and someone to talk to. If parents are not sensitive to them, they'll definitely turn to their peers for all their advice." Not always a good idea, he warns.
Dr Mathew Abraham has worked with a number of people suffering substance addictions. He feels that parents need to step up: "Most parents are too busy generating money for their children, instead of spending time with them. I believe that a lot of emotional issues that addicted children have are related to their equation with their parents. Many feel rejected and unnoticed at home. Eventually, addictions do come out in the open, parents have to be sensitive, accept their failure to their child and counsel the child."
(Some names have been changed)
For help on substance abuse call Abhayam at 9980591002/ 28444604
