Natwarlal Patel though is breaking the taboo. He is the founder of Vina Mulya Amulya Sewa (priceless service), a marriage bureau based in Ahmedabad for the elderly.
The matrimonial section of a newspaper is full of demands, seeking a certain caste, creed, skin colour, height and educational qualifications, and most importantly, age. Marriages in India is an age-bound practise, and search for partners are frowned upon once wrinkles line the face.
Natwarlal Patel though is breaking the taboo. He is the founder of Vina Mulya Amulya Sewa (priceless service), a marriage bureau based in Ahmedabad for the elderly.
According to Natwarlal, there are many senior citizens who want to marry but fear backlash from society. Social stigma is a huge hindrance, specially for women.
Companionship an understated concept
As an official of ministry of planning department, Natwarlal was posted in Gujarat during the 2002 earthquake in which he also lost a colleague. “The earthquake’s—which shook Kutch on 26th January, 2001—aftermath changed my perception. I witnessed the suffering of all those left alone after losing their partners, dealing with isolation and loneliness. I realised how important it is to have a companion,” he says. “I started this marriage bureau for senior citizens in 2002. Out of 95 marriages we have conducted so far, three failed,” Natubhai adds. In a country which still considers marriage a social duty, and nothing else, an initiative to help elderly search for companions is a bold move.
Public meetings are held across India where individuals meet to find a compatible partner. Many non-resident Indians have joined too.
Love trumps all
With an age difference of 18 years, this couple shares the idea behind remarrying late in life. VB Sharan, 67, former commandant, CRPF, says, “I still remember the night I had high fever. Then, six months after my first wife’s death, I realised that I should have somebody as my life partner.”
His wife Jaya Sharan, 49, a former businesswoman from Imphal says, “I didn’t conform to what society dictated. My three children agreed and we got married!”
Facing societal hurdles
For 60-year-old Shalini Suryakant Doshi, her search for a companion is deeply embedded in a bitter experience. “My husband doesn’t want to grant me a divorce although we have been living separately for the past seven years. When he had asked me why I want to marry at this age, I told him that I was searching for happiness. He replied that he doesn’t want me to be happy.”
Octogenarian VK Seth, retired judicial member in Central Administrative Tribunal says, “One of my friends suggested that I find a companion. When I mentioned it to my two sons, they not only opposed it but also used abusive language against this very idea.”
Live-in relationships have takers too
Some shared their belief in the idea of a live-in relationship. But it is not an easy concept when ethics and morality are intertwined. Bradh Kumar Indravadan Shah, 64, a retired BSNL officer, says, “Even after providing proofs—voter’s id, driving license, pan card etc.—it’s difficult to find a vacancy at a hotel.” Afraid of being tagged as a love-nest and facing police harassment, hotels often refuse to entertain unmarried couples. But there are benefits too. NM Rajeswari, 67, retired teacher and the founder-president of an NGO says, “I have been in a live-in relationship for one-and-half years. Even our children didn’t object. Live-in relationship is not binding. Instead there’s simple joy in spending time with someone you’re with out of choice.”
Society often dictates what is proper and improper. But there are many who set an example by breaking away from stereotypes.
(Have a story to tell? Write to us at wethevoice@zeemedia.esselgroup.com)
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