Parents should make their own parenting handbook.
When I was growing up, parents behaved the way parents were supposed to. The value systems were defined. Orders were followed without too many questions.
Coming from a conservative south Indian family, the rules were crystal clear. I couldn’t wear short clothes (I even got my first pair of ‘jeans’ quite late).
I didn’t really have the courage to argue with my parents. Talking to boys was a really big deal. So, going out with friends (especially if there were boys involved) was out of the question.
Parents were clear about their priorities in life, family always came first. And it showed in their words, decisions, actions.
Dinner times were meant for conversation on the table. Eating out was for special occasions only and they were really big ‘events’ which we dressed up for and reminisced for some time to come.
Even if my mom hardly had any time, she would ensure she made homemade chaklis, cakes, nankhatais, papads, pickles, mixture, aam panna, etc.
By now, you’re sure to have gone back in time and are feeling mighty guilty for not being able to do all this. Stop right there before you kill yourself with guilt and think.
Can the same style of parenting work today? Are the same value systems in place, especially in metros?
All you working parents there, keep your hand on your heart and answer this – do you always prioritise your family more than your work, like your parents did? 100% of the time? If your answer is yes, you’re blatantly lying.
The competitive environment at every workplace these days leave you with very little time and energy for giving your 100% to the family. Just acknowledge this fact first.
How many friends do you have from the opposite sex? Aren’t you totally at ease with them? Do you not go out and party often? Then how can you have restrictions on your kids?
Aren’t you stuck to your mobile most of the time? Aren’t you on Facebook liking and sharing updates? And if you aren’t at least on five different Whatsapp groups, your life isn’t worth it, isn’t it?
Then, how can you refuse when your child asks you for a mobile phone?
Do you not wear what you want? Don’t you have an overflowing wardrobe of clothes? Is it fair if you object to your kids’ demands for the same?
Don’t you eat at your office canteen or at restaurants most days? Can you honestly give lectures to your kids on eating healthy?
For a parent, the times are tough. Aren’t they?
I don’t have any ‘tips’ to be a better parent. The real objective of this post is to make you think, prioritise, plan, discuss and act. What works for one family doesn’t work for another as the challenges faced by each of us are unique.
So go ahead, write your own parenting handbook. For your family only.
This article was originally published on www.thehealthsite.com
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