Blessy Chettiar reviews 'Damadamm'

Dear Himesh,

 

Hearty congratulations on the release of your fifth movie.

 

You must be one proud ‘actor’ to have pulled off the feat, with the tide always against your so-called talent. Yes, you can dismiss this claim as a lame generalisation made in thin air. But I’m yet to come across a person who has expressed any kind of love for your art. And I will wait.

 

This is not to undermine your ‘talent’ in any way but to laud your self-confidence.

 

I write to tell you I watched Damadamm and there were some doubts that immediately crept up. First, why was the film’s name changed from Ishq Unplugged to Damadamm? Secondly, why Damadamm? Thirdly, why you? I could go on. But I guess these are trivial things.

 

Let’s talk about the story. Your character is in a relationship with Shikha (Purbi Joshi) for five years. Isn’t that too long a time to suffer a “possessive, nagging” girlfriend? You seemed unhappy with the way she controlled your every move. Didn’t breaking up sound like a great idea considering how overdone the insecurity was? You find “freedom” when she’s away on a trip to hometown Indore.

 

You even croon:

I need my space
I want freedom
I need my space
I want freedom.

 

Hmm… In fact, being the music director, you made sure every song had some English lines like ‘No touching, no touching, only seeing only seeing’. May be someday, we the audience, will learn to forgive how off-key and forced it sounds. But for you, sir, we’ll put up with that too. So much for the love of the colonialists’ language and HR Musik. Let’s also keep the nasal bent for another day.

 

Then came the twist in the form of “hot, curvy” Sanjana (Sonal Sehgal) who happened to be your boss’s sister. She even takes an immediate liking to you. Hats off to the girl! So much courage, conviction and expression to show even an inkling of attraction to a man like you! For that matter, even Purbi (who’s met tremendous success with her comedy acts on reality shows) needs to be applauded for being so aptly plausible. Signs of a good actress.

 

How we all wish relationships were as easy and exes came running into our arms after bitter breakups. Only you can make it all look possible, believable and bearable. I must congratulate you again for sticking to the four expressions we saw in the Damadamm posters (scroll up). Oh yes, how can I forget to add the eternal pout. It is okay for you to think it made you look ‘sexy’. Someone rightly said: ‘Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.’ In that case, Himeshbhai you can keep pouting forever.

 

Do convey my good wishes to your director Swapna Waghmare. Her audacity to work with Himesh the actor is salute-worthy.

 

Oops! Amid all this sugar-coated ranting I forgot to wish you a Happy Diwali.

 

A humble request: Do refrain from ‘acting’ in such dumb-a-dumb disasters. There are only so many blasts our weak hearts can take during Diwali.

 

Yours faithfully

A fan that was never meant to be.