Blessy Chettiar reviews 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn — Part I'

Film: Twilight: Breaking Dawn — Part I
Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner & others
Director: Bill Condon
Rating: **

“I know how this is going to end and I’m not stickin’ around to see it,” says a visibly distraught Jacob (Taylor Lautner) to an equally pale and scrawny Bella (Kristen Stewart).

The book fans already know what will happen, the non-fans must not waste their time. Despite the consistently vile reviews for the first three (Twilight, New Moon & Eclipse), the series sucks up enough moola to keep the cash registers ringing. Expect little and you should be fine.

In Breaking Dawn, the impossible has happened. Longtime boyfriend and vampire Edward Cullen has impregnated human Bella on their exotic honeymoon in Brazil. Yes, they’re married and away at Edward’s private island. Broken furniture, bruises and an awkward pregnancy are results of the much-hyped, passionate lovemaking.

The to-be born half-human-half-vampire spells doom for the vampires, werewolves and Bella. The hows and whys are not for lesser mortals like this reviewer and you to know.

Bella’s transition from healthy to deathlike, because the half-vampire foetus is making her weak, is heart-wrenching until the Cullens find a way to make her stronger. They neatly pack human blood in takeaway cans so that Bella feels human while still behaving like one of them. She laps it all up. Sense and the Twilight series have a long raging war. Dare the viewer question or interfere.

The sappy drama leaves not much time for remotely enjoyable vampire-werewolf clashes seen in Eclipse. Oscar-winning director Bill Condon’s (Dreamgirls) vision is witnessed in a few scenes like that on the streets of Rio, the dinner speech montage and watercraft ride to Edward’s island. Everything else is plain lack of will and imagination.

No euphemism can help express the consistently humdrum acting talent in the lead cast. Perhaps, they must be congratulated for making money out of hysterical young girls for whom the Twilight movies are the closest they could get to ‘heroes’ Edward and Jacob. If you’re not a fan, the lethargic cast, slow-witted screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg and overall foolhardiness is likely to make you cringe.

To end on a positive note, since they didn’t provide many opportunities before, hope is alive for a tolerable Breaking Dawn — Part II since Part I didn’t live up to the hype. If it turns out horrendous, you can rest assured that it’s all over.