The making of a Zen master

I met the rishi-like Swami Abhishiktananda, flying-hair, fiery-eye and all, one afternoon in 1967. I was a young Jesuit scholastic then; a young Jesuit impressed by the swami, a French bridge-builder between Christianity and Hinduism. So, I requested him to take me as his disciple.

“No,” he told me. “First, become a priest and then, if you still want to follow me, you can come.”

I visited Abhishiktananda soon after my ordination as priest in 1972. He introduced me to the teachings of Ramana Maharshi. Advaita touched me, but I could not find a living master. I visited many ashrams and meditation centres across the country.

Each had something to offer me, but my heart could not find the freedom and peace I was seeking. The same held true for the Jesuit spiritual exercises, which I faithfully practiced year after year. My studies in philosophy and theology only led me to deeper questioning and doubting. I was losing my certainties and grounds.

Meanwhile, I had a Zen retreat with Fr Enomiya-Lassalle, a Jesuit priest and Zen teacher, who lived in Japan but would visit India to meet the Indian spiritual gurus. At his behest, I went to Japan to study with Zen master Yamada Ko’un in Kamakura. Yamada Roshi combined Rinzai and Soto Zen methods and was open to having Christian priests and nuns as students.

Doing Zen koans (riddle-like questions) with him was deeply fulfilling and liberating. What I had glimpsed in Upanishads and Ramana’s teachings, I could now realise for myself. Finally, I was authorised to teach Zen.

Now, I stand between Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Zen and Advaita — but without mixing them up or confusing one with the other. It is by ‘passing over’ into another tradition and practice that one often realises the Spirit. But there is no ‘cheap grace’; insights and knowledge that can be had quickly, self-transformation and true awakening is a drawn-out, almost life-long process.

Japanese Zen is wedded to severe discipline; here at Bodhi Zendo, which I run in Kodaikanal, discipline and freedom are blended.

Zen here is a bare-bones approach: zazen (just sitting meditation), work, silence, some study, some sutra chanting, but not much of rituals. Zen is focused on awakening to the Self that is No-Self, as well as living in the now.

Zen language and tradition are the frame for practice and awakening, but not absolutely necessary. Though rooted in Buddhism, Zen goes beyond institutional religion and doctrine and uses any terminology that may be of help.

The writer is the only Zen master teaching in India.