Stepmums finally go a step up

When Junaid and Aira became baraatis at father Aamir Khan’s wedding, it celebrated their bond with ‘Kiran aunty’. Junaid not only helped the bridegroom chose his sherwani, but the kids also planned a surprise gift for him.

Though Saif Ali Khan has not yet married girlfriend Rosa Catalano, they make a cosy trio with daughter Sarah and are often spotted chilling at poolsides (son Ibrahim joins in too) and functions.

With relationships turning fluid, the belief that stepmothers are wicked is now confined, perhaps, only to Cinderella lore. The stepmum today seems to enjoy a privileged status — less than a parent but more than a friend!  And, interestingly, Bollywood, often accused of setting anti-social precedents, leads in this positive turnaround.

Pooja Bedi, too, vouches that stepmums bring more opportunities to love and be loved. “My family is progressive. My father [Kabir Bedi] married remarkable women [Ixchel Susan, Nikki] who gave beautiful memories and celebrations.”

Bedi continues, “My stepbrother Adam is 12 years my junior. I adore him. For us relationships are people-based, not role-based.”  

When Salim Khan made Helen his second wife, little did she imagine that not only would she share recipes but also the children’s reverence with co-wife Salma. As a tribute to his stepma, Salman Khan even organised a show of Helen's unforgettable numbers.

Ratna Pathak (wife of Naseeruddin Shah) and stepdaughter Hiba were keen to make the equation work. Pathak says, “Being a parent to a child you have not given birth to is difficult. The secret is to let things flow, treat the child as an individual rather than mould her as a parent. Today we are friends.”

Vinod Khanna’s sons Akshay and Rahul dote on stepsister Sakshi. And stepmum Kavita Khanna reciprocates as she safeguards their ties. “Akshay and Rahul never like what is private to be spoken about. I respect that,” she says.

Prateik, son of the late Smita Patil and Raj Babbar, concurs. “My stepmum [Nadira Babbar] never grudged me. She is hilarious, a great mimic and the best cook ever.”

Of his siblings, Prateik Babbar says, “With Arya I can share all but with Juhi, respect comes in. In a crisis I can just shout out to them.”

Soni Razdan is “eternally grateful” to stepdaughter Pooja (Bhatt). “Not once was she nasty. I value her kindness. Rahul was younger and did miss not having his father [Mahesh Bhatt] around. He suffered because of me. Yet he is very fond of my daughters Shahin and Aalia.”

Razdan confesses, “Had I been in Pooja’s place, I would not have spoken to the woman my father had married!”

Farhan Akhtar enjoys a “frank” bond with second mum Shabana Azmi. “From her I have learnt not to blame the system but do my bit instead.”

But in this healthy family dynamics, the contribution of the first wife does tend to go unsung. Somewhere she has not only let go of her man but also allowed another woman to tiptoe into her children’s hearts.

As Pooja Bedi declares, “This is largely due to my mother’s [the late Protima Bedi's] openness to the new entrants in our lives!’