Review: 'Players' is a laugh riot

Film: Players
Director: Abbas Mustan
Cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Bipasha Basu, Sonam Kapoor and Bobby Deol
Rating: **

Players is hilarious. I haven't chuckled this much at a movie in a long time. The first time I laughed hard was when Victor dada (Vinod Khanna) introduced each 'Player' to Charlie (Abhishek Bachchan). After introducing Ronnie the 'illusionist' (Bobby Deol), Bilal the 'explosives guy' (Sikander Kher) and Sunny the 'make up artist' (Omi Vaidya), Khanna turned to Riya (Bipasha Basu). Her job description - "the hottie who charms every man she comes in contact with", or something to that effect. This was followed by a shot of Bipasha strutting around in a bikini, assets on display. Cut to close-up of Khanna sporting a leery grin, winking at Bipasha.

This is B-movie paradise. The writing is juvenile, the dialogues a joke, the acting over-the-top, yet everyone seems to be taking themselves so seriously, you can't help but see the funny side to it. The actors are made to put on cool jackets, wear cool shades and then say lines like "Plan kya hai?" My favourite line is, "Russia hai, toh mafia toh hoga hi."

Then there's Neil Nitin Mukesh, convinced that he's delivering the performance of a lifetime, as he tilts his face, gnashes his teeth, looks 'maniacal' and then says, "Open the web, baby" or "let her in, baby". Shut up, baby.

It takes a lot to rip off a film and make it palatable for Indian audiences, and the Men In White, Abbas bhai & Mustan bhai, have done that all their lives. But it must really take a hell lot to buy the official rights of a film, have the license to remake the film scene-by-scene and then say, "You know what, we have the rights to screw with it, so let's do it."

Plan 1: Let's cast a bunch of actors known for their craft. Plan 2: Let's confuse the audience with needless twists and turns. But hey, let's also make sure we explain everything to them. Plan 3: Let's introduce a "hottie who charms every man she comes in contact with" and give her one, no wait, two item numbers. Sexy, baby. Plan 5: Wait, what was Plan 4? Screw Plan 4. Let's skip to Plan 5 - a train heist. Voila!

But funny as AM Bros ensured everything was, one thing about the film terribly upset me - Vinod Khanna, the dashing daddy of cool, turned into a caricature was painful to watch. They could have given him some of the paraphernalia the other actors have and can't carry off, and some really kick-ass lines. Instead, he's a Goan uncle who alternates between being the 'comic element' and the 'emotional quotient' of the film. He's supposed to play Donald Sutherland, but ends up playing Paresh Rawal.

That little unpardonable deed aside, Abbas Mustan ensure Players to be a laugh-riot, a comedy the writers of The Italian Job could have never imagined possible.

Welcome to Bollywood, folks. And a Happy New Year.