Suresh Nair decodes the quirks and joys of this mirthful festival
Damodaran Pillai was only 10 years old when he first saw Sholay in a remote village of Kerala. But it had a lasting impact on little Damu. In fact, ever since Gabbar Singh rode into Ramgadh and drowned the festivities of a cheerful bunch of villagers in a barrage of gunfire, Damu has been scared of Holi. But little did Damu expect to be confronted by his worst fears 30 years later in Mumbai where Holi is a totally different ballgame...
“When the first balloon smashed right under his medulla oblongata, Damu feared it was a cloudburst right over his head. As he looked up at the skies, another balloon appeared out of nowhere and burst on his face. Damu panicked and looked up again. This time he saw frantic movements atop the terraces of buildings on both sides of the street as a dozen balloons descended on him. It was war! Damu had seen too many action films to equate the actions of those hands hurling balloons at him with those hurling grenades in a battlefield. Damu ran for his life.
“When he reached home, his wife was furious. “There’s not a drop of water in the house since two days,” she hollered, “and you come home dripping wet!” Damu wondered if she expected him to run up the terraces, chase those Holi bullies and grab their water balloons to fill up their Sintex tank!
Just then the doorbell rang and Damu found himself standing before four burly men demanding money to buy wood for the Holi bonfire. He offered them a 20 rupee note and immediately regretted it when they sneered at him as if they would light the bonfire with him instead of wood…
The next morning a frightened Damu hid in the toilet and refused to come out when his neighbours arrived to play Holi with him. But they kicked the door open and dragged him out, drenching him in colours that made him look like a MF Husain canvas on a bad day. Damu suffered the trauma with his eyes shut…
But when he finally opened his eyes, his heart skipped a beat and he discovered a rare perk of the occasion. It was his neighbour’s wife, looking all soaked and sexy in her sari. His life suddenly seemed a scene out of Sisila as he hummed,“Rang barse bheege chunar wali!”
Suddenly, there was a reason to look forward to the next Holi!
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