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ShareHere's Bollywood's own 'constitution' when it comes to film scripts
Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the 'real' bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see next rule).
If the number of heroes does not equal that of the heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
a) die
b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
If there are two heroes, they will fight each other savagely for five minutes (10 minutes if they are brothers).
Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled.
The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (that is, the second hero). Else, she will be molested by the villain within the first 30 minutes, and then attempt commit suicide.
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, horseback, train or on foot.
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die)
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) pots
b) barrels
c) glass bottles,
Any movie involving lost and found brothers will see them re-united
a) by a song sung by their blind mother
b) the brothers themselves
c) by the family dog/cat.
Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father killed by the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying "Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte" or "kanoon ke haath itne lambe hain", only to pat him in the back in the third last reel. Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
Ismat Tahseen
