Shilpa Shetty Kundra to Pooja Bedi: Celeb mums on being JUDGED for their parenting!

Singer Kelly Clarkson was trolled online when she was shown feeding Nutella to her daughter, River Rose, in a video posted online. The first American Idol winner received severe criticism for it because Nutella contains a high amount of sugar and unhealthy fats. Some people went as far as to call it ‘child abuse’.

Last year, Victoria Beckham was trolled for sharing a picture in which she was kissing her daughter Harper Seven on the lips, which many found inappropriate, creepy and a bit sexual.

A couple of years ago, reality TV star Kim Kardashian West was trolled online on the speculation that she had waxed her infant baby North West’s eyebrows.

These are other instances where celebrity mothers have been severely criticised by people for their parenting skills or as some would say, lack of it. Why do celebrity mothers become soft targets? Read on to know more...

Expert speak

So why do celebrity parents get trolled for their parenting styles as opposed to the layman? Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr Anjali Chhabria answers the question. “A celebrity’s life is always under scrutiny for whatever they do. For a common man, the lifestyle of a celebrity seems unreachable as they are constantly updated with what’s happening in whose life through social media thus, feeding their voyeuristic tendencies. For a common man, it becomes imperative to look for imperfections so as to realise that celebs are also as human as they are, thus criticism towards any ‘mistakes’ committed,” she says.

Notion of celebrities not being great parents

Normally, when people look at celebrities, they are in awe about their ability to manage home and work in 24 hours. When a common man sees a super-achiever, they tend to believe that s/he must be compromising somewhere and more often than not, on the home front and raising kids, says Dr Chhabria, adding, “There is a notion that due to constant socialising, people might view them as being self-obsessed or someone who neglects their children. 

The common man often thinks that since celebrities are so busy and have to manage a lot, they might be ‘blue-blooded’ or too good to be real, hence the notion of them being a good parent is very rarely entertained.”  
Celebs are human, too

Celebrities are just as human as any other individual. Because their work involves being under scanner all the time, they are celebrities. When you deliver a child, there is no parenting guide that comes along, and for a celebrity being a parent for the first time the scrutiny becomes all the more, explains Dr Chhabria. “My advice to celebrity parents would be to try and live as normal a life as you can, as there will be criticisms from various ends. That shouldn’t act as a stressor for what they decide to be the best possible way of parenting for their kids,” she says.

Celebrity mums speak

Shilpa Shetty Kundra

The actress says she’s spent enough time in the industry (23 years, to be precise) to care about what people say and she doesn’t care about being judged. As for celebrity moms getting trolled online, she opines that it’s one of the cons of being on social media. “It’s not anybody’s business to comment on what I do or don’t do as a mother. People think of me as an actress first, and then maybe, a mother. For me, being a mother comes first. I do what’s best for my child and I also take advice from others. I’m very health-conscious and so my child’s health is always a priority for me. I don’t judge people, but I know that people judge me for my clothes, for the person I am, for being a celebrity, etc, and I don’t care,” says the yummy mummy.

Mini Mathur

Mini, a TV host, says she’s never been trolled for her parenting skills. “That’s because I’m an excellent mother. I don’t need anyone to tell me how to raise my kids. And I don’t really care what others have to say. In fact, I have always received good feedback for being a good mum on Instagram. No two parents are alike, each one’s background, situations, family, etc, is different,” she says.

The proud mother-of-two sheds light on the difference between parenting cultures in the West and in India. “In America, people are way more critical of parenting styles. In India, nobody will get trolled over giving a kid Nutella. In fact, people would freak out if a child doesn’t get food to eat. I’m a friend to my children, and I’ve borrowed this from the West,” she explains.

There seems to be  notion about celebrity parents that they don’t spend enough time with their kids, they smother their kids with expensive gifts to compensate for their absence, that their kids are spoilt brats and ill-behaved.

Has she ever felt judged on these parameters? Mini says, “I do see these stereotypes of celebrity parenting around. Generally, celebrities are under the microscope, and being celebrities, they’ve signed up for it. I know I’m a great mother to my kids and I receive that feedback from others as well. My kids aren’t spoilt brats. I’m sure one of them will come up with a cure for cancer,” (laughs).

Pooja Bedi

Pooja says that having been a single parent, people were a lot kinder to her, as they realised she was up against a lot and that she was still successfully putting together her home, her kids and her life.

“The fact is I’ve been the kind of parent who has been there at every single sports day, my kids are achievers at school, scoring fantastic grades, they’re part of the football and hockey team. In that aspect, people always saw me as a parent, whose children have always gone from strength to strength,” the proud mama says, adding that she’s not got any flak for her parenting skills nor can she recall any instance where, perhaps, someone might have been harsh with her. “I’ve had people only tell me wonderful things about how well I’ve brought up my children, and how amazing my kids have turned out,” she beams.

In many newspaper articles, she has often been called as a super mum, wonder mum, perfect mum. Pooja says, “I’ve been told by people, ‘It’s strange that you’re a celebrity but you’ve never missed a single occasion to be there for your kids, you’re a very hands-on parent.’ I’m a very involved parent, actually.”