I'm like a chameleon: Alia Bhatt talks about playing Pinky in 'Udta Punjab'

Every time I meet Alia Bhatt, I see another side to her persona. She breezes into her airy, comfortable van, clad in a white cotton kurta, asking me whether I mind if she eats while doing the interview. She promptly tucks into curd-rice and answers all my questions readily (no discomfort here) with the aplomb of a seasoned star. She’s visited rural Punjab for the role of a migrant labourer to do research and expresses apprehensions about whether she has pulled it off, what makes her low, and tells us why she will never behave like a diva...

From someone who has led a pampered existence to a migrant labourer — what challenged you to accept a role like Udta Punjab?

The fact that it was probably so completely removed from what you could ever imagine me doing. That challenged me — the idea that maybe I can’t do a character like this because it was so different from what I have ever played. Producer Vikas Bahl and director Abhishek Chaubey wanted to cast me in the role, but they never thought I would be interested in playing this part. That’s why they didn’t come to me initially with the role. Shahid asked me to read the script and give my feedback as a friend. After I read it, I fell in love with it as it’s a fabulous film and fabulous role! It was only after I told Shahid that I was quite interested in playing this character, but nobody had approached me, that the director Abhishek Chaubey met me. I was shooting for Shaandaar at that time. He was shocked I had said yes. I told him, ‘I know it’s very different, but I am very cool about doing it. If you have any reservations, let me know’ (laughs).

What was the toughest thing to do in the role — going deglam or using cuss words?
The physicality of the role wasn’t the tough bit. The toughest part was that there was no reference of the character for me. I had no natural instinct to work with — like things I would improvise naturally... The way they look at you is different also, like a little deadpan expression in the eyes, mouth is kind of droopily open. I don’t know that. That’s not the kind of person I am. In Kapoor & Sons, even though I am not like Dia, at least I could relate to something in her. Here, there was nothing to relate to and that was the most difficult part. It was all created in my head because I have never been through situations like this. It’s been the most difficult role that I have ever played. I have never gone cold, hungry, sleepless… Or been in a situation where you don’t know what’s going to happen next in your life or your next meal is coming from or also that the opportunities in your life are so basic. For me, I had no reference, so it was all through Abhishek’s words, Sudip’s (Sharma) writing — everything that was written as per her character, I made myself a sketch in my head and performed accordingly. We can empathise but we can’t actually feel what they go through…
That’s how you drew out the persona of Pinky…
That’s not her name. I don’t know where that has come from. We are not revealing her name right now.

Did you have any apprehensions about whether you could pull it off at any point?

Yes definitely there were apprehensions. It’s a big risk which could backfire badly but if I don’t take that chance I am never going to find out whether I can do something like this or not. While shooting there weren’t any apprehensions, as I felt very prepared. I wasn’t doubting myself constantly. If I would have then my tone would have been a bit different. I would have reserved myself from doing certain things, or going all out on the character that she is. I am using abusive words. It’s stepping completely out of my comfort zone and also I am a victim of substance abuse, which can again put on a lot of pressure. But for me the character, apart from all the details of what she would do, came across to me as a fighter.

Are you also a fighter in real life?

Possibly… I don’t let circumstances get me down. The value of life will always be there. I think after I played this character my value for life and just the kind of life we have, has grown 10-fold. The kind of situations that these people live in, is like a whole other India and we are literally living in a bubble debating about whether progress is happening around us or not. I would say, definitely yes there has been progress. When I was doing research for this role, I discovered that these kids in Punjab had mobile phones and television.

Did you research for the role?

Yes, we visited a couple of villages on the outskirts of Chandigarh where these migrants live and I just spent some time with them. Basically, the Punjabi farmers out there are so wealthy that they decide to sit back and employ workers for their lands and usually these workers are from Bihar and UP. I went there to get a sense of their lifestyle, how they are and what I got from them is that there’s a sense of toughness and roughness that they have because they have roughed it out so much in their lives. Because nothing comes easy to them. I asked them questions and they were open to answering them — literally to a stranger, who’s coming into your house and asking you questions about your life. There were lots of girls there and a couple of guys.

Please continue...

The girls were beautiful, shy and petite, with kajal in their eyes. They just kept staring at us with intrigue and curiosity and yet they understood. But very restrained as they are not allowed to express themselves. While talking they would be hiding their mouths and smiling shyly. I asked the mother who heads the farming and plowing in the fields, why she didn’t send her daughters to school. She said, ‘Woh jayegi toh hamar kaam kaun karega?’ So actually when you look at it, we ask why don’t they support girl education etc. I’m fully there to support it but sometimes look at the circumstances. If the guys go out to earn their bread and butter, somebody has to help the mother at home as they can’t afford help like us. They didn’t know who I was. They knew only Kareena Kapoor and Shahid Kapoor. That was also interesting…

Was that deflating that they didn’t know you?

Not really. I am aware that I haven’t managed to reach so far. I have only done six films (laughs). One would imagine that I might have felt a bit upset about not being recognised, but I wasn’t.

You belong to the young generation. What do you think of taking drugs?

I understand that there’s a need to experience out of curiosity and to create a world of your own but fortunately, I never got into that because I had something to do. I had responsibilities and I started very young but when you are young and you don’t have anything to do and you are probably lost you do take the things that comfort you in a way. I am not sitting here and judging anybody who is consuming drugs. The point of the film is not to pass judgement but to show you the light that yes, it is actually a problem and we empathise with you. But eventually it’s all about the support system you have, the people in your life, who will guide you in a certain way and how strong you are as a person inside. I think people, who overcome drugs are far more stronger than people who take drugs. Udta Punjab is not just about drugs, but also substance abuse, including alcohol — random things which can even be available at the chemist but we don’t know about them. It’s a time which has become rampant not only in Punjab but all over the country and the world where drug consumption and substance abuse has become like the most normal thing as if it’s nothing. In the film, Shahid and I are the victims of substance abuse, Diljit and Kareena are more the voices of reason and the hope of curbing it. It is about four different lives and each character has their own personal journey.

In real life, when do you feel low?

I am a very sensitive person and anything and everything can make me feel very low — whether it is a fight with a very close friend, or when sometimes I feel people are looking at me in a certain way and not the way I want them to, a film not doing well, feeling overworked... Being an actor is a very lonely feeling as you are constantly going from place to place, from character to character. Like having a family on sets with regard to a film and then suddenly that family disappears and you have been so close to them. Emotionally, it’s a very draining experience. In a way, the relationships become superficial also because then you start feeling it’s all for the movie. It’s true that you meet a lot of new people and make a lot of friends, but then there’s also that flip side to it. We look all chirpy and happy but it’s not always like that most of the time. What doesn’t make me sad is when people laugh at my GK etc. It doesn’t affect me at all as I can laugh at myself. In fact, I am not unhappy at all about those jokes made post-KWK as I got an inordinate amount of attention then (laughs).

And how do you pull yourself out of your lows?

As I said, the support system is very important but I am one of those people who is a private person. So, though I may talk to my close friends, I won’t necessarily sit and talk to my family about everything. During my low times, I find great joy in working out, swimming, releasing those endorphins. Any kind of physical activity makes me happy but also watching a very nice film, a good day’s sleep, spending time with my friends and doing simple, basic things I used to do a lot before I became an actress makes me very happy. As celebs, we should have holidays, meet normal people and do those things that a celeb would not do like walk on the road, do dinner by yourself, etc.

Has it been tough to pull yourself out of any character and became Alia again?

It’s just happened once and it was with Highway. The reason was, because eventually my character Meera’s journey became my journey, Imtiaz was capturing me. It did take me a while to detach myself and come out of it completely. I was so lost that I took a couple of months to come out of it after the film wrapped up. I just felt, ‘Oh my God...’ As if a part of me was missing. It’s a very strange, weird feeling that few would understand… I became very close to the character. It may have seemed heavy and random to people, but at that time, I felt very lost. I may not have related to her at each level but I felt very close to the character. Eventually, her experience was my experience. I say that purposely because Highway was a huge turning point for me. It moulded me and changed me a lot as a person.

Both your parents are filmmakers. How much do you help them creatively or ask them for help for your roles?

There are moments when we seek advice, but it’s not like it’s a thing that happens in our family. We always are known to have our own thoughts and opinions. We are very individualistic. We have been brought up that way also. We have totally different opinions and you are not realising but in a way are picking up so many different personalities and thoughts every day which you can use. I was reading Meryl Streep’s Her Again: Becoming Meryl Streep which has an interesting quote about how she constantly observes different people and pick up random traits from each character to use for her characters in films. For an actor, that’s great, because I have three distinctive personas in my own house and I can draw upon them any time.

Your mother in her blog has written... “We (actors) are a tribe of people. We have the same insecurities, the same understanding of what it takes to be an actor, and the same greed for life, because it is life after all, that gives us the fodder for our craft.” Agree?

Yes. I agree completely, which is why I believe that even though I am an actor and we are working constantly as actors, we need to experience our lives simultaneously. If it becomes all about your work, you then become a version of yourself. If you are open to interacting with people, you flourish as a person. If I am like a wall not absorbing or receiving any thoughts and engaging with you, I won’t be able to open up my mind. But I have always been open to life, people, opportunities... In that way, I am like a chameleon, I absorb the qualities of the people I spend my time with. My sister knows if I am hanging out with like Karan (Johar) or my besties like Akansha and Kanchi.

Seeing such success at such a young age, how do you keep yourself grounded?

I give credit to the way that I have been brought up. To be rounded in a way… You do not see yourself as an immortal human being, you are as mortal as the next person. The minute I pigeonhole myself that I am a diva or celeb or star, I am creating a hierarchy in my life. It’s as if for no reason, I’m behaving like royalty...

But aren’t you the little princess?

No. I give myself enough love and appreciation and a pat on the back, but only when required and not unnecessarily. And I think eventually the people who can do that, are the ones who are grounded. It’s very easy to get sucked into the whirlpool of stardom and lose yourself, but you have to be open to admitting them. You have to be open to admitting your mistakes... Everybody loves themselves but nobody wants to admit they have made a mistake. But I have the ability to see an instinct, to see what is correct or not and that’s what keeps me grounded.