Column

Tales from the Locker Room

India has had a great sporting weekend. In cricket our Under 19 squad, some of whom are actually under nineteen, lifted the World Cup. In Sydney, we defeated the smug Aussies to leave them shaking.

In Hockey we won our Olympic qualifier by a huge margin. And some old scores in Bridge were settled when a group of very rich card players in Dadar, beat a group of very very rich card players from Cuffe Parade by I’m told an innings and then some.

The repercussions of these wins have reverberated across the local gym, which I frequent. This Gym of course is popular for a very noble reason. Not because you can get a good workout, but instead because water is available for free.

Let’s start with Mr Kapadia an upright gentleman although no one can really verify this, because he’s always found lying on a yoga mat perfectly still. Mr Kapadia (who is clearly part fish, can go hours without breathing which is more than one can say about his breeding habits which have gifted Mrs. Kapadia with seven children, all of whom are proud owners of their own brightly coloured yoga mats) was practising his straight drive from his supine position, whilst waxing eloquently about Sachin Tendulkar.

All this was fine, till he actually got under a ball, and swinging his arms into a wide arc, managed somehow to unhinge his towel and bear the architect of his Magnum Opus, (the seven children of Mrs. Kapadia) to the severe chagrin of the rest of the paying public in the Gym.

Nearby Mr Bose was making deft passes into his opponents penalty area, which again was innocent enough, until he tripped on Mr Dwindi , who in turn was showing Mr Samant how to position himself at backward short leg.

A little away from this action the anti-Tendulkar lobby were paying the price for a lost wager (a very high price, Imagine you trying to spend a whole day at work without underwear).

Yup, a great weekend for sport. Especially for those who’ve never played one.