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Wanted: He tweets seriously!

Suresh Nair
Thursday, October 1, 2009 23:59 IST
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While nobody, except our politicians, seem to have been offended by a harmless quip about cattle class, Shashi Tharoor's tweet has been discussed even by Bos primigenius. In other words, the cows themselves! They convened an emergency meeting over the weekend at a tabela in the Aarey Milk Colony to discuss Tharoor's twit wit.

"This is ridiculous," said Gai Ritchie, who recently got divorced from another cow. "I mean, 28% of the cattle population of the world is in India -- and we haven't locked horns with anyone over his tweet. So who is really offended?" The cows wanted to know why humans had a problem being equated with them in a country where the term 'holy cow' is literally a reality.

So they decided to come out on the streets in support of Tharoor. Their aim -- to 'moo' the entire political class of a nation to show some sense of humour and at least pretend to be offended over issues that concern their own fellow human beings instead of behaving like nitwits. "In short," said a spokescow, "we demand respect from humans and expect them to be proud of being called cattle class. Remember, without us not only will there be no milk to drink but also no cowdung -- that's still used as fuel in many villages of India."

Some of the cows took a page out of the promos of Salman Khan's Wanted and put up posters of Tharoor that said: "He walks casually, he travels casually, he dresses casually -- but he tweets seriously." The cows were pretty amazed that humans coined the term Twitter without checking the dictionary for the meaning of twit --which is tease. Like humans, there were a section of cows that tried to take advantage of the controversy and demanded a cattle class on airlines. And some human politicians, desperate to secure a vote bank, stormed airports with herds of cattle.

Meanwhile, Shashi Tharoor, who had just finished deleting the word 'cow' and 'cattle' from his vocabulary, found himself in the economy class of a flight to Los Angeles and sitting next to rapper Kanye West. He immediately tweeted on his Blackberry -- "Can't believe I'm in cattle class and sitting next to a jackass."

Moral of the story: Barack Obama calls Kanye West a jackass and evokes no protests or demands for his resignation from presidency. That's the difference between classy politics and cattle class politics.

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