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ShareThere are whispers in Delhi's political circles that Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh signed a secret deal with the Chinese during his recent visit. While there are very little details on what exactly transpired between Dr Singh, his Chinese counterpart Wen Jiabao and President Hu Jintao, it allegedly started on a note of absolute confusion when President Jintau introduced himself.
"Hu," he said as he bowed before our PM.
Dr Singh was a little embarrassed. "What do you mean who?" he asked gently. "Nobody told you I am the Prime Minister of India, huh? If you've any doubts, why don't you call up Soniaji!"
That's when Premier Jaibao bowed and said, "Wen!"Dr Singh shrugged his shoulders and replied, "As soon as possible! You never know when one of our coalition partners will pull out and put the country through another election!"
Finally, the miscommunication was solved after a translator arrived on the scene. The meeting then progressed to a matter of grave concern--the Indo-Chinese border conflicts. Dr Singh adopted an aggressive stance. "If you don't stop encroaching into our territory," he hollered, "we will show you how cheap we can get by launching an offensive with Nano cars, Moser Baer DVDs and Chinese Bhel!"
Wen and Hu shivered in their pants as Dr Singh continued his threat. "And if that doesn't stop you from meddling in our country," he warned, "we will copy all your films and unleash their Indianised versions with Himesh Reshammiya as the hero and item numbers by Rakhi Sawant!"
By now Wen and Hu were thinking what and why! They retreated to a corner, whispered in each other's ears, bowed to each other and came back to Dr Singh, grinning as if they had just heard about Salman Rushdie discussing 'Midnight's Children' with Riya Sen. In a single chorus they told the usually mild-mannered Indian Prime Minister that the border dispute could be solved very easily.
"How?" asked Dr Singh.
"No, How no solve it," said Wen with a vigorous shake of his head. "Only Hu and Wen! We want India give something we no have but want badly!"
Dr Singh looked at them and asked, "Nach Baliye? Moral Police?"
The Chinese leaders replied, "We want recipe for Veg Manchurian! We search all Manchuria and no find this dish! We find Veg Manchurian not in Manchuria, but in India! Give us recipe and we no attack India border!"
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