Column

Tales from the Locker Room

Jai Hind, congratulations and all that.And yes, a very happy b’day to Abhinav Bindra although I have no idea when his birthday is. After a considerable amount of time, (roughly 4,005 years), India hasfinally won a gold medal in an individual event at the Olympics.

As someone who won the Ghatkopar East Invitational Fifty MetreBackstroke, I can totally relate to what’s going on in Abhinav’s mind. The ecstasy, the feeling of suffocation, the amount of males who insist on touching you — it’s not so easy being a champion.

All this furore over Abhinav has brought another little known sport back into the reckoning — shooting. Just when it seemed headed for the dustbin with those two other little-known sports —nosepicking and hairweaving, Abhinav Bindra, a male, has singularly thrust shooting back into our consciousness.

Immediately, I reflected on my own tryst with shooting. For the first 10 years, my birthday present consisted of a single lemon tart with a cherry on top. For my eleventh, I got the gift that all young boys cherish the most — pornography. Sorry, only joking!

The gift in fact was a brand new national 25 air rifle, a gift which is second only to pornography. Initially, I thought my dad had bought it for my birthday more as an excuse to shoot a couple of our neighbours.

As noble as that thought may be, I soon found out my dad had perhaps bought it for himself. My dad was the clandestine Abhinav Bindra of Malabar Hill, even though the bullet in Mr Shah’s thigh and one in Mr Sharma’s tiffin was not hugely appreciated. We spent hours, dad and I, playing with our National 25 air rifle.

For those who say guns destroy families, I must say on the contrary, the National 25 air rifle held us together.Soon our extended family was lining up to have a shot. Next the neighbours got into it and quickly as all civilised societies do, neighbours were shooting each other.

It was the best time of my life. People started dressing up as well. We had Punjabi cowboys, Parsee Cabelleros, Gujarathi Goucho’s, Maratha marksmen. The list was endless. Sadly the time has past, but our thanks to Abhinav Bindra for taking us back to our glory days. Abhinav Bindra, who by the way, is a male.

Again, congratulations, Jai Hind and all that.
NB: A little known fact — Abhinav was born in India, but his pistol was born in China.