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Dronacharya was a lucky man! When the legendary guru of archery who trained the Pandavas and Kauravas, refused admission to Ekalavya, there was no students’ union to protest outside the Archery Institute of Mahabharata (AIM). The scenario would have been different today...
Dronacharya might have been manhandled by student politicians, widely criticised by all political parties quick to uphold minority rights by playing quota politics and end up in a prolonged legal battle to stop the closure of his archery institute!
Thereafter, a determined Ekalavya might discreetly learn archery by practicing before a clay image of Dronacharya and end up getting into trouble by sealing a stray dog’s mouth with an arrow for disturbing his concentration! This might provoke Maneka Gandhi to lead a protest rally of stray dogs against AIM, especially after Ekalavya claims to be a student of Dronacharya, who in turn sues Ekalavya for damages and demands royalty for the unauthorized use of his clay image. Finally, Dronacharya might agree for an out-of-court settlement and take Ekalavya far away from the city and demand his right thumb as ‘gurudakshina’ - so that he can never show his thumb to ask for a lift from any passing vehicle and come back into the city for a long time…
Teachers today aren’t as lucky as Dronacharya. With each passing year, fewer students know who Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan is and believe Teacher’s Day is actually the day to abuse and beat up their teachers after blackening their faces and parading them through the campus! Most teachers keep their fingers crossed when they walk into their classroom not knowing if a question on the solar system will be answered by a blow to their solar plexus!
But it’s not as if Teacher’s Day has been redefined only in India. In USA, Teacher’s Day is celebrated in the first week of May when students come to class with firearms and blow up the black board! In UK, it’s an occasion for some students to seduce their teacher and post her pictures on the internet! In Afghanistan, Teacher’s Day is celebrated by hijacking planes and flying them straight into the school building. And in Turkey, when teachers fail to answer why their country’s name is defined in dictionary as failure, dud or fiasco, they are forced to eat roasted turkey before the entire class!
Looks like summer vacation is the only safe period in a teacher’s life!