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After Effects

Shah Rukh Khan has let me down. Just when he reinvigorated my belief in him with a knockout performance as the Coach Carter of ‘Chak De’, he’s got himself a brand new physique complete with six-pack abs and rippling biceps.

And I thought he was one of us! The regular guy who proved time and again to the world that with a quick wit and easy charm you can tower over any beefcake!

Of course, my wife is quick to point out that I neither have the quick wit nor the easy charm of SRK, and now I also don’t stand a chance of ever matching his physique.

Almost every man with a reasonable interest in physical fitness dreams of the six-pack abs. The less ambitious ones, like me, dream of just a flat stomach or at least a paunch that can be easily sucked in at the sight of a pretty young thing on the street.

I’ve never really aimed at six-pack abs, largely because it calls for a lot of hard work in the gym and lot of resistance power at the dining table.

My point is, why on earth would I deprive myself of my mom’s sambar or my wife’s rajma? In other words, I prefer to live for the moment - especially during lunch and dinner.

But there are times when I suffer nightmares where I’ve become this rich fat slob whose secretary tells him, “Saab, aap ki paunch ooper tak hai!” And I wake up in a pool of sweat.

The next day I usually skip breakfast and then, as hunger rears its ugly head, I allow myself a brunch and then follow it up with regular lunch…

And there are also times when I think it would be great to have a six-pack. The last time the idea crossed my mind was when I saw Hrithik Roshan dancing in ‘Dhoom 2’.But I wonder why some of the biggest stars in Hollywood don’t have six-pack abs!

Finally, I strongly suspect there’s a conspiracy in my house to prevent me from getting the six-pack abs. Because each time I convince myself to diet hard and gym harder, the two women in my life cook up a meal that reiterates the fact that while the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, it’s also a shortcut to his brain!