Column

Tales From The Locker Room

Never forget the motto of the Marathon. “Run and the whole world runs with you”, causing traffic jams, stop and you can have a very relaxed and pleasant Sunday morning.

Unfortunately this motto along with the motto and origin of this great race is lost on our city of Marathons.

As famous jockey Lester Piggot who never ran a stride in his life said “what do they of marthons know, who only running know?’ Yup all this fanfare about the Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon is fine, but let’s all take some time off to study the history and significance of this marvellous race.

It all began one Grecian Morning in a south Grecian village called South Grecian.

Fed up with with his wife’s constant nagging about wet towels on the bed , bathrooms being constantly wet, and his scratching in public functions, Yaani Kristos Pooupopiouhs, ran away from home, hoping to avoid his wife for the rest of the year.

Much to his chagrin , his mother-in-law gave chase and after about seven frantic miles Mrs Davydoulis, telecommunictaed a niece in a village she was passing to carry on the chase.

As Yaani ran he was constantly followed by his wife’s relatives turn by turn.

However, Yaani outran them all, such was his talent and morever his sheer fear. After running for three days he reached the island of Corsica safely, where he lived the life of a bachelor for the rest of his days.

Though now to be absolutely honest, whenever he had to commute he wisely switched to using horses.

To commemorate Yaani’s great escape from his wife and her relatives the Marathon was born, and this also explains why men always run first in Marathon contests all over the world.

So men of Mumbai, when you run the Marathon remember what you are running for. Freedom. You are running so that one day other married men like you can also learn to “exhale”.

Only one word of advise when you run, continue running in one direction. There is no point in running in circles or returning back to the start of your run. Then that would not be called running. That would be called futility.

Don’t look back men of Mumbai, and run man run!