Column

My son who is four years old has changed a lot in the past few months. For starters he’s stopped calling me uncle and occasionally very occasionally he actually acknowledges me in public.

January 8th being Elvis Presley’s birth anniversary, I took him to the ‘mandir’ and tried to teach him about the king. However, my discourse was rudely interrupted by the most dreaded question of all time. “Dad what do you do for a living?” Keep in mind I was at this point much like an undercooked steak, completely unprepared.

Immediately I used my genetic gifts to distract him with a counter question which amounted to why did he want to obtain this specific piece of information?

My son decided to elucidate. “Our teachers asked us to tell them what our father’s did”, and as I shuddered, he added “Anant’s father’s a shipping magnate, Kabir’s father is a business tycoon, so which one are you?Magnate or Tycoon?”

I swear I could feel my knees bucking. My breath was coming in short gasps. It’s exactly the reaction I had experienced only once before in my lifetime, and that was when my wife ordered me to marry her....

“Son I’m a humorist”. I blurted out. I could tell from his drooping head he was bitterly disappointed that his father didn’t make a tycoon or magnate.“Dad’s what a humorists”? I quickly explained the job was to make folks laugh.

My son countered, “but you never make mama laugh, and I’ve never seen you make nani laugh”.

In fact I’ve only seen you make them angry. Maybe you are an angryist, not a humourist”.

I felt the ballpitch in line and hit me plumb in front of the wicket. I’m a joker, I tell jokes. I pleaded with him.

“That doesn’t sound like much. Can I tell the teachers you are a fireman or a pilot if not a tycoon and a magnate”.

So I took my four-year-old son aside and told him, “son its time I tell you the truth, your real father’s name is Elvis.

Elvis Presley. And the next time your teacher asks you what your father does just say he’s the King. The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll.

As my son left the scene a little happier that his father was indeed the King, I said a silent prayer to Elvis for saving me from the jailhouse again.

LONG LIVE THE KING!!!!!