Email
Print
ShareTales from the Locker Room
Let me give you a behind-the-scenes account of the finale of a reality show. First of all, let me clarify all doubts about the word 'finale'. This is not a Marathi word. It is in fact, a French word often borrowed by Indian languages.
Welcome to the 'Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa' finale and no I've no idea whether 'Jhalak...' is French or a Marathi word. The whole finale is orchestrated by Mr Siddharth Basu, the head of a company called something or the other. Basu, by the way, I'm told on good authority, is a Bengali word. Mr Basu, like many from Kolkata, leans a little to the left, though in his case it's more literally than figuratively. His other peculiar habit is that he's always smiling, except of course when he's forced to watch one of the dance performances (where he, like the rest of us,either bawls or throws up).
As usual a girl called Lynette, who can't be more than 121-years-old, calls all of us to the set a little earlier than necessary, which actually measures to 36 hours before the filming of the show.
This practice followed by reality show producers all over the world, ensures that all participants are oxygen depleted, sleep deprived and brain dead during the actual recording of the show. Meanwhile, after everyone wears Victorian costumes two sizes smaller, the show starts. The show skips at a break neck pace.
Every 30 seconds there's a two-hour break for a technical reasons--such as fog in Delhi, the anchor has to feed his baby or worst of all the baby has to feed the anchor. Finally, after many hours of torture that add up to 75 seconds of shooting time, the winner of 'Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa' is announced. As the winner pushes me out of the way I catch Mr Basu who's done with the watching and is now smiling again.
The educated viewer breaks his TV set, the rest cheer or weep, depending on who they were supporting. As I pass Mr Basu he's holding his stomach again. Since the show's a success, I'm stunned and forced to enquire, "Why?" He replies, "Next week is the 'Nach Baliye' finale." I hear him throwing up in the background.
