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Tales from the Locker Room

My son started ‘extra gymming’ the same day as the Beijing Olympics began. Don’t get me wrong. There’s a big gulf between ‘extra gym’ and the Olympics. While many countries train very hard for the Olympics, in India, apparently training mostly revolves around ‘extra gym’.

Watching the Brazilian and Chinese gymnasts complete the triple spring split routine, somehow the Indian challenge which involved vigorous attempts at touching their toes using alternate hands didn’t seem to match it at all.

The East European competitors with their robust physique then goes on with their routines on the parallel bars, twirling and swirling like rubber sticks, bending their bodies at 90 degree angles, working out some exotic tricks like scratching the back of their head with their feet or using their toes to pull their ears and make faces at the other competitors. The Indian challenge now consists of clapping their hands and cheering wildly for other participants. One of the better Indian gymnasts could even be seen carrying a Romanian competitor’s bag at an angle of 72 degrees, an Indian national record.

Coming back to my son’s ‘extra gym’, the blueprint here is pretty clear. The kids are being prepared for the 2020 Olympics, presumably to be held in Samarkand, Uzbegisthan.

At the moment, the kids are excelling at the more basic forms of flexibility and gymnastics, such as vigorous shaking, flapping of hands, falling down and the ultimate challenge - lying still without moving for a whole minute. But before you scoff, remember these are the early days. 2020 is a good twelve years away, so things are definitely looking good. Don’t worry about Beijing, ‘extra gym’ is the answer to India’s Olympic woes.